This current pregnancy has had its up and downs. Knowing my history, more precautions are being taken in monitoring my progress, which has helped in giving me comfort, but the times of wondering still have occurred. Wondering if I was going to live though it...? Wondering if my baby would live though it...? Wondering if I would have a stroke that would leave me, not me...? So many different scenarios have played through my mind in the last 31 or so weeks... I didn't want to think of not being here for my little family, but at times the thoughts wouldn't stop. It was difficult to not fall into the slums thinking that I might not live; I wanted to live. I wanted to spend my life making memories with my husband. I wanted to raise my children with my husband, teaching them right and guarding them with the correct principles. I wanted to live my dream of being a wonderful wife and mother; for a time I was really scared that I wouldn't be able to.
We ended up moving while I was pregnant and it has been one of the best things for me! I love where we are and I have met and gotten to know some really great people, it has been faith building and sustaining in my time of great spiritual need and support. My Relief Society sisters have really helped me build my faith, to become a better Daughter of God, and know that if God wants me and my baby to live though this we will. It hasn't been easy and it has come little by little with a lot of nourishing but it is coming, and I can honestly say that I look to the future (and delivery of our baby) with hope, faith, and anticipation. I am learning to replace my fears with faith. Just last night my husband and I were discussing all the things we want to do with our kids and it was so fun and exciting, discussing how and what we wanted to teach them and the family activities that we wanted to do. The future looks bright and happy to me and that fills me with great contentment (it helps that I have the best husband in the whole world :) )!
It is very important to be aware, I am aware of all the signs and symptoms that I need to look for so the same thing doesn't occur again. I know that if my blood pressure gets high, if I have really bad rib pain in the right side, if I have proteins in my urine, headaches or blurry vision that I need to be on guard and in contact with the medical professionals that are taking such good care of me. We are hoping to at least make it to 34 weeks because at that time the baby's lungs are developed better, but anything beyond that will be a blessing! So far things have been going good! I haven't really had any of the symptoms and at a check up yesterday my blood pressure was 106/69 which is really good! I rub my belly and tell baby how much I love her and that she needs to stay in and healthy and warm for a few more weeks and I think it is helping (I am also not doing as much this time round). What I think has been helping the most though has been the prayers given in our behalf. Thank you to anyone who has thought of us! It truly has helped!
For me, it is like going through pregnancy for the first time. I don't remember a thing from our first baby's birth. It is a little nerve racking not knowing what to expect, but I look forward to it with faith and knowing my Heavenly Father with be close and help me though it.
(P.S. I really dislike pregnant pictures of myself...barf..)
And if you are really bored and want to know what happened when I had my first baby you can find that story HERE! :)
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