Excited Girl

        I have to preface this blog a bit. I went back and read it from my journal and I really didn't think I could make it too much better, so this is mostly straight from my journal ( I did take out others names and fix a couple of things but other than that this is what I wrote almost 5 years ago): 

            

        WOW! Where do I start? It is October 15, 2011. Before I start I need to give some back ground. Thursday Morning my GPS came up missing. I thought it was really weird that whoever took it just took that and no money. I was really concerned and even thought about calling the police. I thought maybe a family member had taken it. I told Izac about it and he told me that we could take care of it after the weekend. I trusted him and went with it.  Izac and I had planned to go on a hike up to Union falls today but it turned out that the weather likely wasn’t going to be good and I also needed to be back for my friend's wedding reception.  As far as I knew Izac was going to help his brother with his service project for his eagle scout. My alarm went off about 8:00 am, the covers were warm and I wasn’t quite ready to get up. I didn’t have much planned so I laid there for a while thinking about everything going on in my life. About 8:15 am I heard my mom rattling rather noisily around in the kitchen. I thought it was weird that she was making breakfast so early on a Saturday morning. I finally went to the bathroom and just took my sweet time. I went back into my room, changed clothes and finally came out to the front room and then the dining room.

            On the kitchen table was the biggest brightest vase of flowers that I had ever seen!! Full of yellows and pinks and green and purple and blue, it was over flowing with flowers.

Underneath was a card that said my name. My heart started beating faster… was this really happening? :) I carefully opened the card and read what it said. (I still have all the cards but I wanted the words to be in my journal because I don’t think I will keep the cards in my journal)  It said, “ Good Morning My  Love!!! I know we had plans and both really wanted to end the season with a “big hike” but because of weather and other things we may not be allowed to. I promise I will make it up to you! Perhaps the next best thing will be a trip down memory lane.” “Take your time 2 wake up and have a good breakfast. Before you leave grab your hiking clothes, warm gear and your memory bank  ;) Use the “ hint” cards to know where you must go next.    See you soon xoxoxo”  The hint card had a key in it and said the following “the gate combo is 1229 meet you across the high way.” I was so excited, words can’t even describe. Thoughts began running through my head… I even wondered if he was proposing. I tried my best to hurry to get ready but my hair needed done and I just couldn’t get my outfit right. Mom hinted that I would want to look nice. I didn’t ask them many questions because I wanted whatever was happening to be a surprise. I finally got dressed with Izac’s favorite blue shirt, blue jeans and straightened hair. I grabbed some stuff real fast and rushed out the door.

            Luckily the gate to the airport was already open when I got to the hanger; I drove through the gate and parked, fully expecting to see my man behind the locked doors. When I finally got the lock open, I opened the door and right in front of me was a chair with a box and another card with my name on it. The reason the hanger is a memory because I got to go flying this summer.

              I opened the card first and read the following. “Before I say anything else, I will say I am sorry for making you worry. I had it the whole time (open the box) (so I opened it and inside was my GPS, my first thought was ‘stinker ’ ) I’m glad you didn’t call the police ;). You will understand why I took it, we will be using it a lot later.” “When I think of ‘us’ I can’t help but think of how much fun we’ve had, all the adventures! Getting lost on a detour on the 4^th, biking, flying, west Yellowstone. . . I  LOVE IT! ” “Your next place you need to go is where it all began… look at your hint and you will know where to go.”  “be careful, I can’t wait to see you!!”  I was starting to really wonder and be amazed at my man!! I was a smiling fool. The hint card said the following: “What are you doing?”     “ coloring”    “is that you box of arts and crafts?”     “yah, it my Bronco’s tool kit ”  at the bottom it said ‘glitter fight!!’  and there was a small canister of glitter in the hint. What a fond memory, this is where we first really met and started flirting; a cute man tackled me in my apartment and put glitter all over my face. I barely knew him at the time but nevertheless it was a blast!!

              That happened at my old apartment Abby Lane so I headed over there. On the way over there I got a call from dad wondering what I had found at the hanger, I also got a text from mom. They were curious and wanted me to keep them updated.  I was grinning and thinking, and grinning and thinking. I looked all around when I got there looking for Izac’s Bronco, fully expecting him to be there, but I didn’t see it anywhere. I ran upstairs and my old roommate, opened the door. I asked her if Izac was there, she said he wasn’t but he had dropped something off for me. I was anxious to get it. I was really curious to what was going on. My roommate however had other things on her mind. I love the girl but I wanted that next clue! I was trying to be courteous so I listened to her talk about her guy problems for about 20 minutes before I looked at the time on my phone, the suspense was killing me… She noticed and asked if I was in a hurry. I told her I didn’t know… (But in my head I was screaming YES!!  I was excited!!) . Finally she went and got it. It was wrapped in cellophane. When I finally got it open I found another card with my name on it and a cook book, a pan, some spatulas and spoons, a cake mix and a cinnamon sugar shaker! All of these gifts were surprising me, if this really was leading to an engagement, he really out did himself! I was super impressed with my man!!

            The next card read the following: “We have had a lot of fun in this apartment This is where I really started to grow my feelings for you, especially after a spontaneous glitter fight! Not to mention, hot wingers sauce, popsicles, grapes, frosting and cuddling ;)  Since then my feelings done nothing but sky rocket!! ( I was grinning so big at this point!) Past the clouds and stars.   I’ve enjoyed every minute” “It has only just started! Looking at your hint you'll find where you are to go next. I’m sure you will figure out where you need to go. It’s close yet far, you will need to use your GPS to figure out where you are!   Be careful, I can’t wait to see you!” What an amazing guy!!!! The hint had a bullet in it and said: “Look in your GPS favorites. Search: Where it all began.” (also in my GPS were two other destinations that said ‘first time’ and ‘new beginning’ so from here I knew I had at least 2 more stops…  )I headed out to R mountain we had had our first date of shooting and tin foil dinners.

                 I only went like 15 over the speed limit. I half expected Izac to be there but was learning that this was my scavenger/ memory hunt and my prize was going to be at the end. There was a cute little tepee of wood set up with another card with my name on it.

                  In the wood was an air -oft gun and bullets!! I am a spoiled girl! I was way excited about the air-soft gun! I tried to shoot it but didn’t quite know how to load it.... My excitement was constantly building, with each precious card, with each prize and with each memory that came back. Our first date was unforgettable and awesome, it brought back such sweet memories, at times wish I could relive those days, I mean we still have good times but  you know… It was great! Since our first date my love for him has only grown stronger and stronger. 

To Be Continued! 

If you are just tuning in and want to read more of Izac and I's love story click HERE!! :) 

Journaling

Journaling. 

        I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I have began to realize how important it is to record the little moments that really aren't going to always be there, like the ones with my children. They are growing ever so fast and I want to remember all the little special moments.
        This has meant that I have had to change the way I journal. I used to hand write everything. I love the authenticity of my own handwriting, and still do, but it became too time consuming and impractical when I can type three to four times faster...
        I have been typing my journal entries for a little while now and just got a bunch printed off. I initial every page and sign at the bottom of the finished ones to still leave a trace of authenticity. It saves me SO much time to type and I am able to record more and in better detail.  Here is a small entry from recently: 
   We had started playing a game of 3-14 with my parents, Ryker was sitting outside in a patio chair watching Macady try and shoot pesky birds. The last round was played and I had the lowest score. I had won! I looked out the open window, bending over slightly to see Ryker and I said: Guess what Ryke? I won! He looked at me smiled and smirked before he said ‘You one...? I two! haha!' (yes he literally did the haha) It was so funny, we all started giggling at his practical way of thinking! 
      I would encourage you to try doing a little bit of journaling this week. It doesn't have to be typed or written. You could do a voice recording, a video of yourself,  or scrap booking.
     Through personal record keeping you can learn from your trials and enjoy reading the times of thrill and fun, think of what your posterity could learn from you too. It has been so much fun for me to be able to read back and recall details I had forgotten of the day that Izac proposed, which will be coming soon in the next blog on 'Our Love Story'.  :) 

 Printed and put in order!

Embarrassed!

This is more of 'Our Love Story', all my writings on 'Our Love Story'  are at a link at the end. Thanks for reading! 

It was strange that I checked my middle console for my GPS. I had bought the GPS to use for when I was a nanny in California and every so often I still used it. It usually just sat there until I dusted it off to point me in the right way I needed to go. So when I lifted the lid and it wasn't there, I knew that someone had taken it. No money or anything else was gone, just my GPS. I thought that was really weird, if someone really wanted to steal from me they would have taken my money too. I didn't know what to do about it, but I knew I wanted the GPS back. My mom suggested I call the police and report it missing. Izac said that he thought someone may turn it up and to wait for a bit. I was tempted to call the police but for some reason I never did. I decided to wait a little to see if the culprit would confess...

It was the month of October and Izac's family was really in to Halloween from what I had been told. My family was kind of the opposite. Halloween wasn't a holiday that we did stuff for other than the basic trick-or-treating. The fact that my family wasn't into Halloween didn't bother me at all. I didn't like scary things or scary movies anyways so it was nice to not have to feel like I should be involved with scary things.

Izac's family had made arrangements to go to Dr. Slaughters (which is a local haunted house), when I found out this piece of news, the tensions automatically started to build. I really, Really, REALLY, did not want to go. Those tensions of what could happen or be there built and built. I made it very clear to Izac that I did not like scary things and that I really would rather wait in the car until everyone finished. I really didn't know if I could handle it. By this time I has worked myself up so much that a small poke would have made me explode. My nerves seemed to make the anticipation and everything scary seem so much worse. I needed to just relax but was to worked up to do so. 

I made it through all the dancers at first, it was creepy but not too bad and Izac was right there holding me. I was trying so hard to put my brave face on. We were with his WHOLE family, even his sister and brother-in-law who we didn't see very often. My brave face lasted for maybe five minutes into the haunted house and then it just released. I started bawling. Yes... a 20 year old girl was bawling in a haunted house that really wasn't even supposed to be that scary. To say that I was embarrassed was an understatement. I was such a dark shade of red on my face that I was sure I was glowing that hue. It seemed certain in my mind that Izac was going to think of me as a pansy and want to find someone with more of a spine. This thought made me feel even worse about crying like a little child. I'm positive there were like eight year olds going through and not crying and here I was...

 I hated that haunted house and vowed to never go back again. After it finally got over, Izac kept reassuring me that it was alright that I hated that kind of stuff, that he would still keep me. I seemed doubtful but his eyes seemed to tell a truth that he wanted me regardless of my elevated dislike of scary things. (on a side note: I have not been back to a haunted house or maze since and never plan on going again. Now that we have kids I have pledged myself as baby sitter every year when they go to their haunted house.)

Once I was finally able to over come my traumatic experience at the haunted house and had been verified many times that Izac still loved me and wanted me, our dating and courtship continued. Izac and I began to develop habits that would uplift both of us. Every Sunday we made it a goal to read a General Conference talk; for some reason we always managed to find ones that talked quite a bit about marriage. We also started scrap booking together. Believe it or not, Izac, used to scrap book quite a bit with me. He said that he enjoyed preserving the memories we had made and that it was important for us to not spend much idle time together. (On another more extensive side note: We still have the scrap book and I cherish it, as Izac doesn't have much time (and possibly desire ;-) ) to scrapbook any more. (On a further side note: if you come over and ask to see our scrap book, we love to share our beginning with anyone asking. Just be sure you don't want to do much talking because Izac and I could talk forever about our dating and courtship :) )

Another hobby or habit that we picked up was country dancing. I had always thought country line dancing was fun, I wanted to learn it better and Izac was interested also so we started going every week. We jokingly tossed the idea around of learning a few dances for our wedding (we were seriously talking wedding at this point in time if you are behind). After moving from the beginner class to the intermediate class we knew that we wanted to have some dancing at our wedding. We were finding dances, songs, and moves that we did well together and it was a fantastic way to spend quality time. There is nothing quite like looking in to loving eyes as you are twirled and dipped all around the dance floor. It was very easy to forget that there were other people were there. Izac and I would dance in the clouds in attractive bliss.

Everything he said and did made me love him more and more. At some moments it really felt too good to be true. He was my 'Prince Charming' in every way, shape, form and aspect. He had a great deal of respect for me as a person, he had worthy goals and desires, he was a worthy priesthood holder, he not only served a mission but learned and grew from his experiences, he was debt free, he was honest, chaste, a willing and hard worker, but also knew how to play hard, have fun and enjoy time. He made me want to become and be my best self. 

They say that fairy tales don't happen. That you really can't have that kind of love. That it doesn't exist. But I am here to tell you that it does! It probably is not that way for everyone from what I hear and read but 'Fairy Tale Love' does exist. Yes, my Izac is human and makes mistakes but he is so very perfect for me!

HERE  <-  is where you read more about Izac's and I's beginning adventures!

Sand Dunes

This is a continuation of Our Love Story. I know it has been EONS of time since I last posted a continuation so at the bottom I posted a link where you can read the other ones. I may even re-post them in order. We shall see. Until next time, enjoy: :) 

I had been to the sand dunes before, but every prior experience paled in comparison to the time that Izac took me. When I had been before I always rode with someone, this time I was to navigate using my own clutch four wheeler. I was fine with clutch in a car, my first car had been a clutch, but I wasn't to sure about a clutch four wheeler. Izac had been doing that kind of stuff for years and years and was very patient in working with my amateur self and teaching me how to do it.

I was no where near as brave or crazy as Izac but still had a good time doing circles and climbs that I was comfortable with. Miraculously enough I really didn't stall it that often either. About sun set we parked our four wheelers and sat down for a minute, airing our feet and feeling the sand between our toes. Soon, some sand was kicked my way accompanied with a boyish smirk. Game on, rattled in my head, and I quickly grabbed his waist before he could run away and he fell down bringing us both to the sand. Sand was thrown everywhere as we played around, it was packed in our clothes and shoes but the fun time and memory was irreplaceable. My heart rate increased from the physical activity and having Izac so near. He tends to cause heart throbs for me.

It started to get pretty dark so eventually we decided we had better head back. After a short time all the sand dunes started to look the same and I was beginning to think that we were lost. All the thoughts of what it would be like to be lost in the sand dunes started running through my head, and let me tell you they weren't pleasant thoughts. Some of the thoughts were as follows: what if a scorpion bit me and the venom froze my whole body in place and I was to never marry? What if a horrific wind storm randomly came through and I was sand blasted to a dry animal corpse? what if red ants decided I was a delectable dinner and ate so much that no one could identify who I was? What if a mountain lion thrashed Izac to pieces as he valiantly fought with all he had and saved my life? Those were just a few of the thoughts that coursed through my brain in a short amount of time. While it had been warm while the sun was out it was starting to get cold (what if I froze to death?) as it dipped lower and lower into the sky. It seemed my fear was accelerating as fast at the temperature drop.
 
I kept going, internally praying that we would make it back safe and not have to spend a night with no food or water lost on the sand dunes. After what seemed like twice (or more!) as long as it took to get to where we were, we pulled into the parking lot. The relief was palpable as I knew that we were going to make it.

Izac took me in his arms and asked if I had been nervous. If my shaky limbs didn't give it away my shaky voice did. I timidly said that I might have been praying that we would get back safe and not have to spend a night on the sand dunes. He looked a little incredulous making me feel like a silly child, he then genuinely smiled and continued to reassure me that he knew the dunes like the back of his hand, because he had been there so much. I sheepishly grinned and he kissed me on the forehead. 

If you want to read more click here.  

My Major

It has been a while since I wrote on my blog. I sat down with the intent to continue Izac's and I's love story. I at least want to get it finished up until we got married, although we had some crazy times on our honeymoon that would make a good story too. Anyways, while I was wanting to post an entry to get that finished up, I got distracted.

I picked up my journal to read and remind myself of the next entry for 'our love story', and the first thing I read said this: "School started for me on Monday, I was really frustrated the whole day, wondering if I was majoring in the right thing or not. For some reason it was really bothering me....I was just frustrated... and cried a bit. It really wan't a terrible day I just wasn't excited about my classes."

It reminded me of how I have been feeling lately. I really only have  two regrets from my past. One is that I didn't major in what I loved, Horticulture, and the other is that I didn't do better at Nationals for Nursery Landscape with the FFA. If I could change those two things right now I probably honestly would.

Practical Joslyn though, had to have a way to make money in something that was (and seemed) reliable. It made sense in my head that Health Care Administration would be able to support me financially comfortably. I don't and didn't mind paperwork (that is basically what that degree is...) and I was relatively good at it, so the practical side won and I have a degree in Health Care Administration (I don't regret having a degree in any way shape or form, I just wish it was in something I loved!).

My other rationalization was that I could open a garden nursery without a horticulture degree, that one day I could still do it on the side for fun. Which I still believe I can, I just know how much more I would be ahead if I had done all the research and learning while in college. My degree at one point, was even Horticulture and I changed it... Hindsight wishes I wasn't so practical sometimes. If I really loved it, and I did and do, I would have been able to support myself financially and comfortably.

This post isn't saying how my hopes and dreams for owning a nursery are destroyed because I didn't get my major in Horticulture. I still plan on owning a  nursery someday. This post is just saying to Major in or do what you really love. Being practical is good to some extent but as long as you are smart in doing what you love it will never hurt you.

Kicking Sugar

Sugar. 

It comes in all shapes, sizes and forms. Warm moist fudge brownies, fresh baked cookies, smooth soft caramel, and cold creamy ice cream.... squares of yellow cake, triangles of pie, circles of peanut butter cups... popcorn balls, odd shaped nerds, long licorice ropes, and of course chocolate; the list of these delicate delicious treats could go on and on. The taste is so sweet on lips and to the taste buds as these items are indulged. 

But.

The trend had been that I was indulging on this evil nemesis called sugar way. to. often. It called my name in the afternoon when the kids were asleep and I had time to curl up and read my book. It called my name after dinner to top off a meal and fill in the cracks with something sweet. It called my name at any and all social gatherings. It called my name randomly late at night and frequently at restaurants. Sugar: Hooked. And addicted. 

But. 

My mom has been doing this really, really, healthy eating diet. Every time I would go to her house she would gladly share with me her new, healthy meal that she had tried, and thus far all of them have been excellent! Her desire to be healthy, and actually doing it, started to create a desire in me. There seemed to be so many benefits to eating healthy. 

I wanted to be healthy. I didn't want to be hooked, and addicted to sugar. I want to raise my kids on healthy food. I want to have more energy. I wanted to lose weight, like had been happening to my mom, without starving myself. I wanted to have clearer skin. I wanted all of these things but didn't seem to have the motivation or will power to achieve them. 

Until.

One Sunday afternoon I was sharing my sugar woes with my sister and some other family members that were seated around the table. My sister said that her piano teacher and their family had been doing a point system type of thing for healthier living. She pulled it up and showed me and with some modifications we started. The point system we are currently using is as follows:

Intake 64 oz water (2 points)

2 servings of fruit- 1/2 cup=1 serving (3 points)

3 servings of veggies- 1/2 cup=1 serving (3 points)

Cardio/strength/yoga ect. ( 1 point per each 10 minutes maximum 6 points a day, maximum 6 days a week)

No eating after 9 pm (3 points)

No sweets or sugary drinks (5 points) (Except one sweet treat Saturday and one on Sunday)

Self Goal- you choose (2 points)

Going cold turkey with no sugar seemed daunting and impossible, especially since at family dinner every Sunday there is ALWAYS a treat. That is why we added a sweet treat on Saturday and Sunday. It made this whole thing seem more do-able. We have nice little charts that we record our successes or failures for the day in points, and we are keeping a running total until Halloween and whoever has most points then wins the pot (we all put 10$ in).

I have tried really hard to stick to it and have done alright so far. Yesterday, though, we had a special dinner and I knew there would be treats there so I decided to forgo my sugar points for the day. I snacked on treats all afternoon and at the dinner. Come 8 pm I really was feeling the effects of it... My head was raging and pounding in pain and felt even worse when I moved too fast. I knew it was my evil nemesis, sugar, working its way through my system. I resolved that I need to stick with not eating sugary things that often because of what it does to me! 

I am grateful that I have such good family members that are encouraging me to eat better and be a support for me in that aspect. Although I felt sick after consuming so much of it, I felt good knowing that trying hard to avoid the sugar was working for me. Until that afternoon I had been feeling better. My skin was clearing up and I was making healthier food choices. 

So if sugar is your nemesis too, you are not alone. At times it is still really difficult but I know I can do it and I know all the positive effects of avoidance. 

Tell me what you do to no eat so much sugar, and if you don't do anything start something! Jump on board!

Ode To My Hair

    For those of you who have experienced the hair loss that comes a few months after birthing a child I have written an Ode. ( I don't know if I followed all the rules of an Ode, so if I didn't, it's just a poem that is called an 'Ode' ). Enjoy: 

Ode to my hair

Oh my hair, my hair;

You used to be there.

Now you fall out of my head;

Filling me with dread.

I find you on the floor;

on the walls, and door.

I find you on my back;

my front, and in my crack.

I think it soon will stop;

but then a 100 more drop.

Bald I may become,

this hair loss isn’t fun.

~~~~~~~