My Major

It has been a while since I wrote on my blog. I sat down with the intent to continue Izac's and I's love story. I at least want to get it finished up until we got married, although we had some crazy times on our honeymoon that would make a good story too. Anyways, while I was wanting to post an entry to get that finished up, I got distracted.

I picked up my journal to read and remind myself of the next entry for 'our love story', and the first thing I read said this: "School started for me on Monday, I was really frustrated the whole day, wondering if I was majoring in the right thing or not. For some reason it was really bothering me....I was just frustrated... and cried a bit. It really wan't a terrible day I just wasn't excited about my classes."

It reminded me of how I have been feeling lately. I really only have  two regrets from my past. One is that I didn't major in what I loved, Horticulture, and the other is that I didn't do better at Nationals for Nursery Landscape with the FFA. If I could change those two things right now I probably honestly would.

Practical Joslyn though, had to have a way to make money in something that was (and seemed) reliable. It made sense in my head that Health Care Administration would be able to support me financially comfortably. I don't and didn't mind paperwork (that is basically what that degree is...) and I was relatively good at it, so the practical side won and I have a degree in Health Care Administration (I don't regret having a degree in any way shape or form, I just wish it was in something I loved!).

My other rationalization was that I could open a garden nursery without a horticulture degree, that one day I could still do it on the side for fun. Which I still believe I can, I just know how much more I would be ahead if I had done all the research and learning while in college. My degree at one point, was even Horticulture and I changed it... Hindsight wishes I wasn't so practical sometimes. If I really loved it, and I did and do, I would have been able to support myself financially and comfortably.

This post isn't saying how my hopes and dreams for owning a nursery are destroyed because I didn't get my major in Horticulture. I still plan on owning a  nursery someday. This post is just saying to Major in or do what you really love. Being practical is good to some extent but as long as you are smart in doing what you love it will never hurt you.

Kicking Sugar

Sugar. 

It comes in all shapes, sizes and forms. Warm moist fudge brownies, fresh baked cookies, smooth soft caramel, and cold creamy ice cream.... squares of yellow cake, triangles of pie, circles of peanut butter cups... popcorn balls, odd shaped nerds, long licorice ropes, and of course chocolate; the list of these delicate delicious treats could go on and on. The taste is so sweet on lips and to the taste buds as these items are indulged. 

But.

The trend had been that I was indulging on this evil nemesis called sugar way. to. often. It called my name in the afternoon when the kids were asleep and I had time to curl up and read my book. It called my name after dinner to top off a meal and fill in the cracks with something sweet. It called my name at any and all social gatherings. It called my name randomly late at night and frequently at restaurants. Sugar: Hooked. And addicted. 

But. 

My mom has been doing this really, really, healthy eating diet. Every time I would go to her house she would gladly share with me her new, healthy meal that she had tried, and thus far all of them have been excellent! Her desire to be healthy, and actually doing it, started to create a desire in me. There seemed to be so many benefits to eating healthy. 

I wanted to be healthy. I didn't want to be hooked, and addicted to sugar. I want to raise my kids on healthy food. I want to have more energy. I wanted to lose weight, like had been happening to my mom, without starving myself. I wanted to have clearer skin. I wanted all of these things but didn't seem to have the motivation or will power to achieve them. 

Until.

One Sunday afternoon I was sharing my sugar woes with my sister and some other family members that were seated around the table. My sister said that her piano teacher and their family had been doing a point system type of thing for healthier living. She pulled it up and showed me and with some modifications we started. The point system we are currently using is as follows:

Intake 64 oz water (2 points)

2 servings of fruit- 1/2 cup=1 serving (3 points)

3 servings of veggies- 1/2 cup=1 serving (3 points)

Cardio/strength/yoga ect. ( 1 point per each 10 minutes maximum 6 points a day, maximum 6 days a week)

No eating after 9 pm (3 points)

No sweets or sugary drinks (5 points) (Except one sweet treat Saturday and one on Sunday)

Self Goal- you choose (2 points)

Going cold turkey with no sugar seemed daunting and impossible, especially since at family dinner every Sunday there is ALWAYS a treat. That is why we added a sweet treat on Saturday and Sunday. It made this whole thing seem more do-able. We have nice little charts that we record our successes or failures for the day in points, and we are keeping a running total until Halloween and whoever has most points then wins the pot (we all put 10$ in).

I have tried really hard to stick to it and have done alright so far. Yesterday, though, we had a special dinner and I knew there would be treats there so I decided to forgo my sugar points for the day. I snacked on treats all afternoon and at the dinner. Come 8 pm I really was feeling the effects of it... My head was raging and pounding in pain and felt even worse when I moved too fast. I knew it was my evil nemesis, sugar, working its way through my system. I resolved that I need to stick with not eating sugary things that often because of what it does to me! 

I am grateful that I have such good family members that are encouraging me to eat better and be a support for me in that aspect. Although I felt sick after consuming so much of it, I felt good knowing that trying hard to avoid the sugar was working for me. Until that afternoon I had been feeling better. My skin was clearing up and I was making healthier food choices. 

So if sugar is your nemesis too, you are not alone. At times it is still really difficult but I know I can do it and I know all the positive effects of avoidance. 

Tell me what you do to no eat so much sugar, and if you don't do anything start something! Jump on board!

Ode To My Hair

    For those of you who have experienced the hair loss that comes a few months after birthing a child I have written an Ode. ( I don't know if I followed all the rules of an Ode, so if I didn't, it's just a poem that is called an 'Ode' ). Enjoy: 

Ode to my hair

Oh my hair, my hair;

You used to be there.

Now you fall out of my head;

Filling me with dread.

I find you on the floor;

on the walls, and door.

I find you on my back;

my front, and in my crack.

I think it soon will stop;

but then a 100 more drop.

Bald I may become,

this hair loss isn’t fun.

~~~~~~~

Self Improvement

I have been reading some positive, motivational business books lately, they just aren't business books though. They are books that can improve aspects of my life that aren't about business at all. I would highly recommend both of the books. They would even be good encouragement for a teenager(both are pretty easy reads.) 

The first one that I read is called 'The Go-Giver' By Bob Burg and John David Mann. This book is the book that Glenn Beck gave all of his employees for Christmas last year. 

I don't want to tell you the story of the book but a few points that really stood out to me and how I am trying to improve. 

  POINT ONE : 'It never hurts to be kind to people.' In a particular area of the Walmart shopping center stands a person that is trying his or her hardest to sell people on their Dish Network or Direct TV (I can't remember what company is doing it...) packages. Usually, I look the other way, acting like I didn't see them and scurry on by, pretending I thought they were talking to someone else when they try and get my attention. It really isn't very nice of me to completely blow them off and after reading this book I realized I could (and should) change my behavior. 

   So here I am passing by the spot they like to stand and he approaches me. I know he is going for the sell and I highly consider my traditional 'ignore and hurry off' but I decided to acknowledge him. He gives me a punch line, that I don't remember, but I politely tell him we don't watch TV but I appreciate the offer. He says he understands, thanks me for my time and we part ways. It really wasn't that hard for me to take two seconds to be kind to this person. 'It never hurts to be kind to people.'

POINT TWO: 'Whoever said being anxious gets more accomplished?' Constantly I battle within myself about allowing myself to enjoy life. I am always too anxious about something: the baby wasn't fed on time, my toddler didn't get a nap, or food, we forgot the bottle, we forgot the jacket, its too hot, its too cold, its too late, and the list goes on. Those are just a few of the things that have bothered me and made me so anxious I didn't even enjoy the activity we were doing. I need to take a chill pill and not be so anxious. Being anxious does not get more accomplished and I don't enjoy anything when I allow myself to be anxious.   

The next book I read is called 'Who Moved My Cheese' By Spencer Johnson, MD. My mom had this book but I found out about it from the front of 'The Go'Giver'. 

 Again I don't want to tell you the story in this book but I would encourage you to read it! 

POINT ONE: 'What would you do if you weren't afraid?' If I wasn't afraid I would find myself being more willing to serve my fellow man. I would find myself acting on those 'feelings' to do something for other people. I would find myself trying business ideas and making friends that I normally wouldn't reach out to. Simply put I need to step out of my bubble, over come my fears and do the things I know I need to. I was listening to Glenn Beck once and he said that if you haven't done something in the last 30 days that has got you out of your bubble or pushed your limits you are not growing. Sadly, I am currently not growing but I am going to start growing. Wish me luck! 

POINT TWO: 'Old beliefs do not lead you to new cheese.' (You will understand the 'cheese' part as you read the book) You don't get different results by doing the same thing over and over again. If you want different results you need to be doing things different. I am not going to make a difference by sitting on my rear all day. I am not going to make a difference if I ignore those 'feelings' I get to do something for someone. I have got to change, my 'beliefs' ,so to speak, to get the cheese or results that I am seeking for. 

Now you know some of my struggles and what I want to work on. There was a LOT more that I took from these two books, but I didn't have time to write them all down. I also am not quite ready to reveal all my struggles but I want you to know I am trying to improve and hope I give you some desire to improve in an area you may struggle. 

Little Miss Millie

Our Little Miss Millie is almost a month and a half! Her birth and delivery was much smoother than Ryker's was (that is a story for another time :) ) Thanks to bunches of prayers in our behalf I carried her full term and was able to do a successful VBAC! Thanks to all and any who prayed for us! We really appreciate it!  
 

 


Adjusting to having two kids has been an easier for me than adjusting to the first one, that has been good!  Ryker loves her and loves to try and help and make her happy.
 


 

One day she was crying and Ryker brought one of his cars over and set it by her on the couch. Another time I was doing something in the kitchen and she was fussing. I caught him getting ready to feed her a fruit loop! I stopped him and then went to finish my task, when I came back Millie had a fruit loop clutched in her hand. I smiled. He is trying so hard to be a good big brother!

 She is a relatively good baby but doesn't like to fall to sleep, getting her to sleep is a challenge but we are working on it. 





It has been fun for me to put her in dresses and bows and cute girly things :) 





Ella and Millie were born the same day, they are second cousins :) 

 

 
Families are Forever! :) 

Marriage?

Of late my car had all the sudden gotten really noisy. Something underneath the car wasn't very happy and it let me know every time I drove somewhere.When it comes to cars I don't know much. I do know how to pay Jiffy Lube to change my oil but that is about it... One day I casually asked Izac if he might know what the problem was with my car being so loud. We went for a short drive and he suspected that it was my exhaust that was creating so much extra noise. He told me that if I brought it down to the shop where he worked he would try to fix it.

Upon further inspection we found out that the exhaust was falling out and cracked which is why it had seemed so much louder. In order to fix the problem we had to lift the car up to get to the exhaust. Izac put a fork lift under my car and lifted the two front tires off the ground and proceeded to get underneath my car. In my mind, I was like 'wait a minute, what are you doing?! what if that thing lets loose and the car comes crashing down and crushes you?!' It may not have just happened in my mind like I thought, I must have mentioned my concerns aloud because quickly he was right back up coming over to me. He took me in his arms and whispered that he knew what he was doing and was going to be alright. He quietly continued saying that if we were to be married in the future I was going to have to get used to him doing stuff like that for me. That brought a surprised but instant grin to my face. That is what a man does for his wife he continued to tell me, he takes care of the vehicles. I was blushing a deep red and excited all over. We both knew in our minds that marriage was our goal but never before had it been mentioned aloud. I was speechless as he gave me a quick kiss pulled slowly away to get back under my car and begin welding the crack and wiring the exhaust back in its proper place.

As he worked my mind began to wander, it was filled with thoughts of being married to Izac. We got along so well, he was everything I wanted and more. We could spend hours just talking, we had similar financial goals, we both had the same spiritual goals and we both knew the value of work and it was important to each of us. At that time I could almost picture Izac working on one of the cars in the garage, while I cleaned the house on a warm Saturday morning and our little munchkins were all around playing and helping 'mommy' and 'daddy' in their tasks. The thought of it filled me with deep joy and longing, it was my purpose in life and I really felt it confirmed at that moment. I was living what I thought to be a fairy tale dream, I felt that at any moment someone was going to pinch me and I would wake up and it really would be just a dream. I worried it was all way to good to be true, I had to pinch my own self to remind me that this was real and was really happening to me.

Amid my longing and exciting thoughts of the future, I tried as much as I could to help Izac, handing him wire and tools when he needed them. It really didn't take too long to weld the crack and wire the exhaust back up where it belonged. I was grateful the forklift didn't drop my car on him but most of all I was impressed. Another brownie point for the already near perfect man!? Who knows how much that would have cost me to get fixed at a garage?! I was very grateful to save money and spend time learning of more of the skills that Izac possessed. It meant a lot to me that he wanted to do something like that for me. He really cared and it was shown in his actions.

We took the car for a drive when he had finished and it was at least 5 times quieter, my man had done the job (and he did it good because I still have the same car and I haven't had a problem with the exhaust since, (4 years later!)) ! We celebrated a job well done by going out for some Mexican burritos. I profusely thanked him for the work he had done on my car!

I really wanted to ask if he was serious about what he had said earlier in the shop about marriage in the future. I was at a loss of how to bring the conversation up though. It's also safe to say I didn't want it to be one of those moments that really was too good to be true, so I didn't say anything aloud but allowed it to occupy my thoughts.

Soon he leaned over, put an arm around me, and with that teasing smile of his, he told me that he could tell something was on my mind. I tried real hard to act innocent and play dumb but he had me cornered. He then whispered, 'I bet I know what you are thinking about...' Teasing him with my own smirk I told him I was thinking about the green sauce on my burrito and how it was such a funny color of green. He smiled and replied that if you mix the green and red sauce it makes a real funny color. We teased and played around with sauces for a few minutes before he pulled his phone out and said, 'lets look at a calendar.' I was confused, why did we need to look at a calendar? but I kept my thoughts to myself as he continued to pull up a calendar. He began musing aloud, 'well we can't do it during my busy season, which is from October to Decemberish, Christmas wouldn't be a good time because there is too much going on and I want it to have its own day.' My mind was quickly making progress and catching up... It... What was it? DING, I knew what it was... A day for a wedding to take place...

Our wedding.

My hands turned clammy as the excitement reached every part of my body. It wasn't just a dream or too good to be true, I even pinched myself to make sure. I immediately agreed that I didn't want to get married amid the holiday season. To much going on and it just didn't seem like a good time for us. We began looking at the next best date. Spring break would put us at a wedding nine months away and that just seemed like a little too far away for the two of us who were extremely attracted to each other. Izac would still be going to school in the winter so we tried to find a time where there was a day off so that he wouldn't have as much homework to catch up on from the wedding and honey moon. I would be off track and not going to school during that time so I was more flexible. The next day off of school after the holiday's was President's day weekend, with February 18th being on the Saturday before.

February 18th.

We were talking about a date to be married!! I was as giddy as a young school girl who just won the spelling bee. I wanted to tell the world that I was going to be married to the man of my dreams but I also wanted to hold it all inside and keep it a special secret for myself. We decided that day was what we were going to be tentatively shooting for but that it was just between us for the time being, which was alright by me. 'Our date' was about six months away, plenty of time for me to mentally plan and prepare, I felt very happy and at peace with it. I was one content girl.    

Here is OUR LOVE STORY INDEX if you are just tuning in or want to re-read anything :) 

***

Teton Village Continued

Knocking on death's door, or so I felt, Izac was right next to me in an instant trying to make sure I was breathing and alright. I didn't want him there, but I wanted him there at the same time. I really felt like I was dying; I couldn't find air to breathe. I craved his comfort but was too embarrassed and humiliated to face him. I wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there for a very long time. When I finally caught a little breath, the tears came with an uncontrollable force that I couldn't have stopped if my life depended on it. Izac, after making sure I was alive, alright and breathing ran the bike he rented up the hill and put it there so people coming down would see it and slow down before hitting the jump and colliding into me.

I hurt.

With all the adrenaline the first hurt felt more emotional than anything, my pride and skill in handling the mountain on a bicycle was humbled real fast. The second hurt was pain, raw pain all over. It didn't feel like I broke anything and I could move so my next major concern was the bike.

The bike.

 I was riding my boyfriend's bike. I panicked as I checked for possible damage. He kept meticulous care of the bike and it was in GREAT condition before I got a hold of it... It looked like the handle bars might have been twisted some but other than than I couldn't see any visible damage (internal sigh of relief). Taking note that I still didn't seem to have any broken bones, the bike seemed alright, and my breath was coming back, I just wanted to get off of that hill and hide in a hole for a very, very long time. I was mad at myself, embarrassed and frustrated beyond description.

Why?

Why on earth did that tree have to get in my way!? Why did I have to try and 'show off' and ruin it?! Why was I going so fast?! They were the 'taller than human' jumps, why couldn't I try to 'show off' on something a little bit smaller?! I no longer felt like 'that girl' that was impressive and desirable. My crying red face only made my confidence plummet even further. I am not an attractive crier in the least bit, my face turns splotchy red and looks ridiculous. I hate crying in front of people. Especially someone I'm trying to impress... With confidence destroyed, I slowly got back on the bike, lacking a better idea of what to do with myself.

On the way down the hill I found that I had bloodied up my elbow, and had various other points of sore spots. I think I hit the tree harder than I thought. Even though I was in the height of frustration with myself I was grateful that it was only Izac behind me and not his friend or friend's dad.

By the time I let gravity carry me down the remainder of the trail I had cooled down some and made it a little easier for Izac to talk to me. Izac really was sweet, concerned and worried. He had watched the whole thing happen and I am sure I scared the crap out of him. He told me how grateful he was that I was alright. He had something in his hand, that upon further scrutinizing, I figured out was the plastic piece from my helmet. I had completely broke it off. I must have really hit hard. I was very grateful I had a helmet on. I might have been a paralyzed or dead if not... 

After some adrenaline wore off, I was starting to get sore and knew that I was going to feel that one for a while but I couldn't let the mountain win. I had to go down again. We made sure there wasn't any deeper damage on me and that the bike was still operational; everything seemed to be fine so we went down again.

I was in no mood or condition to keep up this time. I just wanted to get safely down the hill without running into anymore trees. Prove that my 'horse' bucked me off but I was going to get right back on. I was quite a bit slower after my encounter with a tree. We did a couple more leisure runs before I told the boys I wanted to sit out and rest for a bit while they went on a few more runs, at their pace.

 I had just wanted to prove to be so good, confident, and talented on the hill and I felt I had failed myself and my man. There was nothing to be done about it though and he still seemed to want to be with me even though I had crashed. So I did my best to let the crash be in the past and remember the good things about the day. I had rode a bike on dirt trails with three men all day and did quite well other than a 'minor' and 'small' mishap with a tree jumping in my way. ;)

Here is OUR LOVE STORY INDEX if you are just tuning in or want to re-read anything :)