Humbled through Performing

What I learned performing. As many of you know I have been to a Limitless event. In these events they talk a lot about positive talk and affirmations that help us get the results that we want. My brother-in-law has been on a church mission and about a year ago his mom approached me with the idea of playing a duet together at his homecoming (which is where he reports some about his mission). I hadn't performed in front of an audience since high school. So I was looking forward to it and thought it would be a good experience. I had plenty of time to practice, and thought that if I knew my music good enough and kept up with the positive affirmations that I would ace it.The time came for us to play and there was like 70 family members there plus those that normally go to that church, which adds up to be A LOT of people and....  I really didn't remember the nerves that come to me with playing the piano in front of a TON of people. I tried every positive manifesto in the book but I struggled to calm my nerves. Somewhere in the back of my head was a memory:

I was ten or so maybe a little older and I had a piano recital coming up. My teacher was requiring us to memorize one of our pieces. The one I memorized was a jumpy staccato tune called 'The Ticking Clock' or something similar. The day of the recital arrived. It was in the library and thirty or so people were there. My nerves began to perspire on my face. I knew my song and had practiced, but as my turn came I wondered if I remembered any of it. By some miracle I made it through the first two lines of the song and then I just forgot. Simple as that. Mind Blank. I couldn't remember how the song went. My cheeks reddened in embarrassment and I was deeply humiliated.
This unfortunate memory has been at the back of my mind. That is not the last time I performed but it is a time that brings raw emotion when I think about it. I wanted to prove that I could play this duet with my mother-in -law well. I kept telling myself that I was good at the piano: that I had put in plenty of practice (I would say 12 hours minimum on that song alone) that I knew everything I needed to do to make it a success but...

I. Messed. Up.
        
It was pretty bad too, and at a simple part. I was so embarrassed! It wasn't just for me. I was embarrassed for messing up so bad with my mother-in-law and making her look bad too. I had imagined our song going so well and being very touching but I really messed it up. I was very discouraged and tempted to vow to never play the piano in front of an audience again. Why did that have to happen that way? Why did I mess up? Why didn't my positive thinking and manifesto's work? I have dwelt a lot on this event and really thought about it; and this is what I have learned.

 I. Was. Humbled. I really thought that I could do it. I was excited to do it well. I was excited to be congratulated and feel good about what I had done, and the work put forth. I wanted so bad for it to go well. I wanted to touch the audience with a stellar performance.We got through the song but it wasn't how I envisioned it.

I am human. You are human. We still make mistakes just like I did while playing the piano in front of a ton of family and church members. Part of me just wanted to leave that thorn in my side and tell people how horrible that I did, and how I ruined it all... Until my amazing eternal companion told me that it really wasn't that bad and with my mother-in-law playing too it wasn't too noticeable. He told me that it was good and I wasn't allowing anyone to thank me that it was good because I thought it went so horrible. He also pointed out that I messed up maybe a couple of times but I got the rest of the song right. I did well more than I did horrible and that was something worth thinking about. 

So am I going to stop doing my positive manifestos because my piano performance didn't go as I planned? No, they greatly add value and happiness in to my life, and I believe in some way they did work. I could have really messed it up but I played more notes right (quite a few more, thankfully) than I did wrong ones. I learned that I am human and am not perfect and will have to find better ways to deal with my nerves in the future. It was a good learning experience to remember that large mistakes can still happen, but we can learn from them. I could have vowed not to perform again but instead I am going to keep trying (as daunting as it sounds right now...). And that is what our journey is all about, is to keep trying, moving forward, and learning. What mistakes are you learning from? How are you improving because of them?

I have written some blogs about the positive self talk and manifestos that are apart of the nine laws of conscious creation. To read about them click HERE!

Find a Few Minutes

      Over the course of the last few days maybe you  have found time to write down the things that are distracting you from connecting from the ones that you love; things that are distracting you from the life you really want to live. Now that we have identified what some of these things are, we are going to start taking time throw out some junk (aka distracted time) that just really doesn't matter and replace it with things that do matter. 'This week, make an investment of time, attention, and love in your treasured relationship by temporarily ditching distraction and being fully present. Start by identifying sabotaging factors that prevent you from investing in what really matters. Ask yourself: what daily distractions prevent me from being fully present with the people I love? What actions can I take to reduce or eliminate one or more of theses distractions?
 By identifying your distractions. you can become more aware of their potential to weaken your relationships. This heightened awareness will enable you to make different choices. It is helpful to note that making valuable investments in the lives of your loved ones does not require enormous amounts of time and effort. For example:
    -I left my phone in the car and walked hand in hand to school with my child
    - I conversed with my child in the car on the way to practice
    - I put my phones in the closet after work and played a game with my family
    -I made a snowman with my child
     - I let my child help with dinner (Hands Free Mama)
     Find ten or fifteen minutes a day where you can put the phone (or other distraction) away and not let it distract you. Morning may be best when the sunshine is tickling across your window sill. Maybe in the late evening when the stars are beginning to gleam. Whenever it may be, find a time (even five minutes) where you can just be you, and be present. If you don't have family close, then take time to connect with yourself and who you really are, or take the time to ponder and think. Take time to discover your relationship with your Creator. Only you can do it. Only you can find 5-15 minutes that could be spent on something more wholesome.
      A night a little while ago, I had tickled my adorable three year old as he went to bed. The energy in the house was high and a little tickle seemed just right for that night. The next night, however, he asked for a tickle again while in bed. I worried 'What if this excites him too much and he doesn't sleep? What if he asks for this every night...?' My tired worn self wanted to not tickle. Scrolling sounded more lazy and effortless, but in that moment I recognized that I am not always going to have these moments where my son wanted me to tickle him before bed (can you imagine a teenager asking for that? :) ). I was able to recognize that this really won't last forever and the tradition has generally stuck. He still will ask for tickles and I have learned a few things from this experience: that a little more laughter does me good, that is was good to see my toddler laughing so hard, that the tickling and hard laughing didn't really keep him up later or make him bounce off the walls. I found that I felt like a better mom when I let myself laugh with him as I tickled him. This is just one experience that I have had thus far with over coming distraction.
     You can have these experiences too. And realistically they don't take that  much time. I really only tickle him for two or three minutes, and the fulfillment we both feel is very much worth that time. Find time to drop your distraction for a few minutes and find out what can happen! :)
 

Previous posts on Becoming Hands Free can be found here: 

Becoming Hands Free

Awareness

Awareness (Part of our Hands Free Journey)

This post: Hands Free Journey explains what becoming 'Hands Free' means.       

           This first month of our Hands Free Journey starts with Awareness. Dale Carnegie said "One of the most tragic thing I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon--instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today." Too often the grass seems greener on the other side. Other people have angel children, perfect houses, ideal relationships, and are successfully thriving. Whereas, when we think about ourselves: our children never listen, our houses are complete disasters and we are merely surviving. Why are we living that way? There is nothing productive, uplifting or happy about comparing of what we perceive as their 'perfect' life with our perceived 'miserable/unhappy' life. Throughout this journey we are going to learn to be happy and how to find peace and joy in our surroundings and our life. I mean "...men are that they might have joy"-2 Nephi 2:27 It is not a sin to enjoy your life, and let go of some things in order to hold on to the things that will really matter in the future.

         Start being aware of the ways that you are distracted from enjoying yourself and others. Is it your phone, computer, TV, tablet, video games, books, house work, work, pinterest, facebook, e-mail? It could be fear, stress, dislike of change, unhappiness of what we look like, excess weight we don't like or even acne ? These can fill our minds so constantly that we are distracted from those we love, and from the memories we want. The list could go on and on of what things or thoughts that are keeping you from loving your life and those in it. In the Hands Free Mama book she goes through a list of questions to ask yourself and I have written some of them here:

        What you missed hearing the best part of your child's day because you were on the phone?
        What if you missed the chance to console your worried spouse because of you mile-long to-do list?
        What if you missed hearing an unknown childhood memory from your aging parent because you were too busy to call or visit?
         What if you missed a divine cloud formation in the sky because you were racing to the bank, the post office, and the dry cleaner?
         What if one day you realized that all the opportunities you missed couldn't be retrieved?
         What if one day you realized the best moment in life come in the mundane, everyday moments? But you were only fully present on special occasions?
         What if you turned away from distractions that monopolize your time and attention and grasped the sacred moments passing you by? (Hands Free Mama)

We only have one life to live. We shouldn't allow our time to be filled annoyed, stressed, worried, in anxiety, or panic.
 But we do.
We shouldn't be consumed in distress, dismay, apprehension, dread,  and fear.
But we do.
We shouldn't have strain, nervousness, and tension.
But we do.
We shouldn't spend our so much time scrolling, or in the virtual world.
But we do.
It happens all to easy and I am also a guilty party. That is why I am doing this journey, is because that is not how I want to live my life. I don't find enjoyment or fulfillment in those derogatory things, that sometimes I drown in.
Lets find peace, joy, fulfillment, happiness, and love.
Lets learn to enjoy our moments, our children, our relationships.
Lets create space and allow these virtuous things in our life.
Let connect with our Divine Creator and live the life and be the example we were meant to be.
Lets take what we learn and help and teach others to enjoy their life.
Lets make time and space to smile, smell the flowers and connect with the ones we love.
We are the only ones keeping ourselves from taking part in an excellent life.
 Lets change that!

        Your challenge for this post is to write down what things distract you from really enjoying your life. Remember that is is often during the mundane moments, when we learn to smile and enjoy them, is when we will get the most fulfillment. These moments can become valuable contributions to our personal happiness, children's memory, and our marriage.
        Things that currently distract me from the moments that will bring happiness to my life are: Facebook scrolling, Reading books, my laptop (pinterest, blogger posts, etc.), fear, inadequacy, and self doubt.

If you are struggling to find distractions, here are some things to think about from the 'Hands Free Mama'
Ways that you can find your distractions are:
-If it takes the focus off of what really matters (This may involve deciding what really matters to you and writing that down)
-If it prevents you from being fully present-If it keeps you from investing time and energy in those you love most
-If it hinders your ability to slow down, relax, or get adequate sleep
-Or if it holds you back from enjoying life, taking risks, and being your authentic self.

        Find your distractions and write them down. If you feel inspired and directed I would love to hear from you! You can post a comment and letting others know what you struggle with which may help them!  Awareness of what is distracting us will help us overcome these addictions in the future!

Becoming Hands Free!

It is the first day of August and this month I am going to begin a 'Hands Free' journey. I have been following an author by the name of Rachel Macy Stafford. I loved her blog writings so much that I whimsically bought both books she has. The one that I have started is called "Hands Free Mama - A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List and Letting go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters."

      The book is set up to take a year to get through, the reader is to read and work on one chapter a month. I have read the first chapter and will share with you what I have learned in next posts.  I am inviting you to go on this journey with me! I will share what the chapter was about, and how I am working on it, and my progress on this journey.  In becoming Hand Free, my goal is find more joy in life, to not allow minor things stress me out from enjoying the good, I want to see the flowers and not the weeds, I want to treasure each and every moment I am given with my precious children and husband. I want to deepen my relationships with family and friends and meet new friends in which to connect with. I want to learn to be present with whomever I am with and not just there physically. I want to get rid of the things that distract me from living on life on purpose and keep me from living the life I want to live. Come on this journey with me if you find that you have similar desires or if you just feel you are too distracted and want to re-connect with yourself! Maybe you are drowning in a sea of media and news that has you down, discouraged, and lost! I hope that by applying the principles she teaches in this book we will ALL be able to grasp what really matters! I hope to have you along for the ride!