Rattlers

A continuation of 'Semester's End'

I needed to leave... 

But...

I was so comfortable...

After a couple minutes of analyzing the situation in my head, I let the good spirit win and I headed back to my apartment for a few hours of sleep. Even good people can fall captive to sin and captivity, even if they have good intentions. I had experienced that and I didn't want such things to come between Izac and I. When I arrived at my apartment, I was asleep before my head hit the pillow, I didn't even wash my face or brush my teeth, which have always been part of my bedtime routine. I was straight exhausted. 

The bright sun came shining through my window way to early; I wanted to pull the pillow over my head and sleep for five more hours. Then the thought came to me that Izac was probably up and at it cleaning some more. I quickly changed clothes, got minimally ready, and headed over to his apartment to finish working on the mess. 

Izac's family was going to Yellowstone for a family vacation and he wanted to finish up quickly in order to meet them. Once I got there we kissed... I mean cleaned the rest of the apartment. It took us a few more hours, but at last it was done! He and his family were going to be in Yellowstone for a few days so there would be no seeing him for me. I was somewhat glum, I was going to miss him...

Before he left he pulled me in close and whispered in my ear that that semester had been the best one of his life. He grinned at me, continuing on, stating that I was the one who had made it so great for him. I was beaming as bright as the sun with that comment swirling in every nook and cranny in my brain. I replied that he was responsible for making it the best semester of my life too. I told him of my sadness that it was over. Even though we were still dating, it was going to be harder to commute to see each other and it probably wouldn't happen as often. That thought was somber and I wished that last hug, before he left, could have lasted a lot longer....

Pictures of us at the close up the semester. :)

I went back to my apartment and slowly did my 'chores' for the clean check. I didn't want to leave that apartment... So many memories were made there... That apartment was my favorite out of all the ones that I had lived at in Rexburg and I had live at three or four other places. Izac may or may not have had a lot to do with that... :) None of my roommates had left early to avoid clean checks, they were all lingering also. Even in my leisureliness to get done, I was the first one out of there.     

I drove slowly home. Thinking of memories... and pondering what the future could possibly hold. It brought a smile to my face, knowing, and hoping where I wanted it to go....


Izac was gone on vacation and I wanted to enjoy the time with my family. One of our neighbors had just bought his very first gun (he was in his 30s or 40s or so) and he wanted to learn how to shoot it. He had asked my dad to take him and some of his family shooting to learn how. I had left my apartment that day and that night was the night that my dad was going to show him how to shoot a gun. I loved any chance I got to target practice. With Izac being gone I didn't have to feel embarrassed when I missed. I was truly looking forward to practicing. 

The dirt trail was bumpy riding in the pick-up truck. The dust was floating in the air behind us as we dashed by. It might not have been that bumpy if my dad hadn't like to drive so fast, but it was a memory. It also was beautiful out side. There was a slight breeze and a blue sky; summer was still in the air and I was just wearing Capri's and a shirt. When we arrived at our destination every one started to hop out of the truck. My dad had wandered to the back of the truck and made the 'shhh' sign by bringing his finger to his lips. We didn't know what for, we were the only ones out there in the dessert, but we complied.

I snuck quickly and quietly around as to see what he had. It was a snake. I really am not a big friend of snakes... like I kind of just loath and hate them a lot... I stay clear away out of their way at all costs. My dad had that snake trapped with his water bottle between his legs. I didn't get close enough to check for myself, but I trusted him when he said that it was a rattler. My dad was crazy! Here he was pinning a rattle snake to the ground with his water bottle. Did he not realize they were poisonous...? Did he not know that one bite could kill him...? To say I was nervous for him was an understatement. I was so grateful that he had even seen the snake to trap it. He was so lucky and blessed to not have gotten bit. 

My Dad and his rattler.

I was doing my scared-of-snake-dance and quickly made my way to the back of the pick-up truck where I could get my feet off the ground away from the slithering- serpent. My dad had my mom hand him his knife. He cut the head off of the snake and placed the whole snake on the side of the road. He let us know that he was going to get the rattlers later before we headed home but he wanted to make sure it had plenty of time to be dead. I thought it was cool to keep the rattlers off of a rattle snake, it said something about a person's courage. My dad had been keeping the ones he had found since I was a little girl.   

It took some encouraging to get me out of the back of the truck to go shoot... Why couldn't it have happened at the end of our target shooting, instead of the beginning...? What if there were more rattle snakes...? I wasn't as brave as my dad and would probably get bit trying to escape if I saw one close... I knew that I wanted to get some practice in shooting, so I eventually got out and grabbed a gun to shoot. The target shooting went pretty well, I was happy with how good I did. My dad had showed our neighbor how to use his gun and him and a couple of his kids went through a bunch of rounds getting the hang of it. 

This neighbor was a shorter man. He was a khaki pant wearing business man. He really didn't seem like a gun type of guy to me, but I guess he wanted one for self defense.  A short time into our shooting, this neighbor walked over to the side of the road. He looked pensive and was really thinking and considering something. All the sudden it must had clicked for him because we heard a loud bang. He had clearly shot something but what...? 

'It was still moving...' was his reply to our blank wondering stares. It didn't take long to put two and two together and realize what he had just shot... 

The snake... 

Blown to smithereens. There would be no saving the rattles from that one... We all got a good laugh about it and headed home.

Once a Parent, Always a Parent

I wrote this yesterday but I was to nervous to post it... Sorry for the delay... 

About six months into our marriage I was baby hungry. I wanted to have a baby. I would see a cute little baby in church and slyly comment to Izac how cute it was... how cute ours would be... We would see babies and the grocery store and I would let my husband know again of my desire to have a baby. He knew that I was baby hungry... And I bugged him with it all the time.  

I had relatives and friends I knew that had suffered with infertility. Some of these I even knew of growing up. I was your typical little girl that played house with her dolls and dreamed of having a family of my own. These friends and relatives that suffered with infertility was a growing concern to me and I often voiced it to Izac. If we were going to be one of those couples that struggled with infertility I would rather know sooner than later so that we could start working on it... 

My wise husband convinced me to that we needed to try to plan the baby's due date around my schooling. While I had high doubts that we would get pregnant right away. We waited to 'try' until the due date would be after I graduated, if we happened to pregnant right away. I had my doubts that such a thing would happen to me.

The time shortly came that we could start 'trying' to have a baby. I just knew that it was going to take 4-6 months for it to happen because that was how it was for most people... ( I had done my homework...) I was average in pretty much everything and didn't think that this would be an exception.

What do you know...  

Not even a month later and we were expecting... 

Our little Ryker came two months early (that is another story for another time...) right in the middle of my last semester. We were over joyed at our bundle of joy. He ended up being in the hospital for a month and a half before we were able to take him home. 

We had a baby but we didn't. We spent 3-4 hours a day with him at the hospital but the nurses were with him for the rest of the time. He wasn't really ours yet it seemed because, life went on as normal for us with the exception of hospital visits. I went to school; I did homework. Izac went to school; and he did homework.... 

When that little baby was finally released to come home I was in for a big shock. Like BIG shock. I could no longer do what ever with Izac, when ever. We had to keep him strictly inside for at least one month and then winter was going to be close around the corner and we knew that we couldn't take our preemie baby out during that time....

I struggled BIG time...

I had MEGA doubts that I could be a mom...

I wished... I really wished.... That we had waited longer... That it had taken us longer to get pregnant...

I wasn't ready... 

I didn't get to do all things with Izac that I had wanted to and now I had to stay home ALL the time with this little baby. I couldn't just leave to run to the store. I couldn't surprise my husband at work. We couldn't leave and do spontaneous things together because we had a baby...

Life was hard for me. 

I doubted my self..

I wondered why I had been so baby hungry. 

My husband wondered if I was going to make it. 

I wondered if I was going to make it. 

Sometime amiss my struggle I thought of the following line: 'The sooner we start, the sooner we will be done.' The sooner that our kids are here, the sooner they will be raised... (Terrible thinking, I know...)

Since this last weekend that line has been one of my saving graces on the more difficult days. 'The sooner we start the sooner we are done...' My husband has heard me say that line many times, and those close to me have also heard it. I wished I had had more time alone with Izac before our bundle of joy came. It came to me on an almost daily basis and I would just cry about it...

Things adjusted better the older he got, but at times that wish would come back to me... Why hadn't I waited at least a year?? Or two?? Or three?? and gotten to spend some quality time with my husband getting to know him... 

Saturday my husband had to work. I was at home with the baby and things were good other than I was down on my confidence...

My hair looked terrible. 

My face had too many spots.

The weight that I have wanted to loose since Thanksgiving was still there.

It was one of those down days... Nothing was encouraging to me about the way I looked that day. 

Izac and I had planned to get some shoes that evening. I was in bad need of some running shoes and he in need of some shoes to wear to school. We had been talking about getting shoes for weeks but just hadn't had the time to get it done. That night was going to be the night... The schedule was free and we were going to fill it with shoe shopping. 

I packed the baby up and we headed into town to meet my husband. We beat him to the store and the baby was getting fussy, while we waited for him to arrive. I just knew that every eye was turning towards me and my crying baby. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment and I hoped that my husband would arrive soon. The only thing that would console our little one was to take his little hands in mine and let him 'walk,' with me supporting him, around the store. This made it rather difficult for me to try on shoes. 

I wanted to find a sturdy running shoe that was comfortable, looked good, wasn't too expensive, and would last for a good long while. I wanted to try on all brands to make sure that I got the right ones... Luckily, when my husband arrived my father-in-law and brother-in-law were with him and they took the baby while Izac and I were able to try on shoes. 

I could not find any that were comfortable that looked good enough. It didn't help that my hair, face, and body didn't look the way that I wanted them too. My mood was souring fast and our crying baby really didn't help the matter. My husband found his shoes and took the baby. I was about ready to give up on my searching to leave it for another time. I wasn't going to find the right shoes in my sour mood. But there on the middle isle were some shoes that I hadn't seen before. I looked, and looked but I didn't see my size on the shelf. I was going to find the store associate for assistance when I seen another pair that I thought I'd try on while I waited for him. I grabbed the top box and inside was the shoe from the middle isle and it was my size. I was overjoyed that they had been 'placed' in my pathways for me to 'stumble' across. I grabbed them and we high tailed it out of the store with our crying baby.  

I was in no mood to cook dinner. We had a gift card to Applebees and I suggested to my husband that maybe we go out to eat on that. He was happy about the idea and it was decided that we were going to go to dinner. 

Finally, some time to relax with my wonderful husband and just enjoy an evening with him and our baby. Little Ryker was usually good at restaurants so I was sure that we were going to be able to relax without him causing a scene. 

We got sat down and ordered our food when our little one starting fussing. Heads starting turning our way wondering where all the noise was coming from. We gave him a piece of celery to gnaw on and that calmed him for a bit, but steadily the crying and noise volume increased. We were going to have to leave and we were going to have to leave soon. I was grateful that Applebees service was fast and got our food out to us quick because Ryker was becoming inconsolable. We could not calm him down for anything. 

Finally, I just told Izac that I was going to take the baby outside.... He could box up the rest of our food and pay the check. Thoughts of wishing we had waited longer to have kids came rushing back to my head. I was so frustrated with myself, my crying baby and I just wanted some quite, peaceful, relaxing time with Izac.  

We got home and I wasn't in a good mood. Hardly anything about the evening had made me very happy and my self-confidence issues didn't help. 

I knew that I was being obstinate, grumpy and testy. Izac knew it too. I was again wishing we had waited to have kids. I knew that I was being unreasonable and I knew that I needed to change my attitude...

I decided to put on my new shoes; I was really happy that somehow I had found them in the small amount of time that we were there. I gave my patient husband a hug and told him thanks for the shoes. He knew that I was still somewhat frustrated, because it still lined my face. I told him 'the sooner we start the sooner we are done'. 

He patiently replied and continued to tell me that is was a little different than that.... We are never going to be done being parents. We will have kids, then grand kids; and we will never have the time back that we had before our little baby came. Yes, they will grow up, but it will never be the same; they will always be depending on us in some way or another. He told me 'Once a Parent, Always a Parent'. 

I had self regret as he told me this and I wondered how I was going to make it X more years raising kids... It was a tough moment and realization for me... 

Yesterday, Sunday, we went to my in-laws after church to visit. Ryker was getting really fussy and I knew that he was tired. I took him in my arms and went in the basement to try and get him to go to sleep. It was just little Ryker and I down there. He cried and screamed at me for a time because he didn't want to fall asleep, he was fighting it with all he had... Those doubts and thoughts came back into my head. I remembered that primary songs had helped clear my head of negative thoughts when I was younger so I started softly singing them to my crying son. 

After a short time he calmed and relaxed in my arms and before long he fell asleep right there in my arms. This little man was mine (ours) to raise. I had helped make him, I grew him inside of me and fed him. He was a part of me and my husband and I was his mom. The spirit of the moment completely overwhelmed me, bringing tears to my eyes. 

I was a mom. 

I was supposed to be a mom. 

I didn't need to 'wish' that I had waited to have kids. The Lord had blessed us with this little boy immediately, when I wanted, and I had been terribly ungrateful. The feeling I had holding that sleeping baby in my arms confirmed to me that I was where I was supposed to be, doing what I was supposed to be doing. That feeling of confirmation, of sweet, calm reassurance, was so much more fulfilling than the empty wishes I had been hoping for, for the last nine months. I felt peace and knew with my Lord's help I could do anything. I could be a mom and not wish I had waited longer. I could handle a crying baby in a store or a restaurant. I was blessed with a child and I was taking him for granted. 

There is another saying that I have particularly liked since I had a baby and it is:  'A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step'. I would add to that though.. 'A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step-make the best of it'. Enjoy the moments you have. Don't 'wish' your life away like I tend to do at times. Be strong and know that the Lord is there. He hears. And He answers. I know it. 

One step at at time. 
I can do this.
And if I can do it so can you.  

Once a Parent, Always a parent.  -Make the best of it! :)

I got the picture at: http://otrazhenie.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/step.jpg

Semester's End

A continuation of 'Spicy-Sweet-Hot-Burning-Sticky-Goodness'

The semester was coming to a close. We had had a great time getting to know each other and it was very bitter sweet. I didn't want it to end, I wanted the fun to continue. I wanted us to still live close so that we could go anywhere and do anything that we wanted. I had met and gotten to know Izac and I was falling in love with him. We had made so many memories at my apartment and around Rexburg that I wanted those memories to stay and not fade. As I started packing my clothes the memories flooded of all the fun things we had done since we met... a glitter fight... shooting guns... swimming... him comforting me in time of death... homework...movies... text messages... the Play Mill... Mesa Falls... and our recent spicy kisses... I lingered on each memory with a smile on my face. Things were going so well between us and I didn't want it to end. I didn't want things to be different. The sweet part of the whole situation was that I had been able to pass all of my classes with good grades!

Izac and I would both be moving in with our families. He had to work during the fall and I was going to commute to Rexburg for school so he and I could be semi-close (his family lived in Shelley which is like a 20 minute drive from where my family lived. It is a 40 minute drive from Rexburg.).

We had to celebrate that we had survived our classes while keeping our relationship in good standing. We decided to go see Cars 2. I cuddled in somewhat close and we enjoyed the carefree, homework free moment next to each other in the theater. We had clear minds, no procrastinated homework in the back of our minds reminding us of the reality of our college life. It was done and we could think free. We were together, fingers interlocked, in that theater and both happy as could be.

With the closing of the semester came the wonderful, glorious, stupendous, and favorite-to-everyone, clean checks... After seeing Cars 2 (which we both really enjoyed) we went to Izac's apartment to start cleaning. The longer I could be with him the better. I decided that even if it was spent cleaning I wanted to be with him.

Izac had messy roommates. Most of them had already high-tailed it out of town in order to avoid the wonderful, glorious clean checks that everyone loves. His apartment was a mess. One reason we never really hung out at his apartment was because it was so messy. Izac was embarrassed by the endless clutter of his roommates... He was flustered by the mess they left. They hadn't even tried to help in any way. He started ranting about how the mess was disgusting and shameful; he wondered aloud how people could live that way... I just walked over to him, amid his perplexity and just gave him a kiss. That kiss melted some stress of the moment away and he was little better after I 'kissed him better'. :) I was so happy cleaning that apartment because I was doing it with him.

Two of his roommates had stayed so they were helping us clean. The other three left the mess without a look back. We looked at the list of what needed to be done for the clean check and decided to divide and conquer. Izac and I would frequently check on each other, just to make sure each other wasn't missing any spots.... (or something like that ;) )

On the plus side of the clean check we found stuff that the boys had left behind in their hurry to avoid clean checks. They weren't coming back so we got to keep some of the lout for payment. I found an almost full bottle of really nice moisturizing lotion that Izac said I could have. I was elated about that. Normally, I didn't spend money for that kind of moisturizer, but I was excited to use it and try it out.

After a couple of hours of cleaning, and it being late in the evening, we were exhausted. Izac collapsed on the couch pulling me down with him. We turned to lay on our sides as not to lay on one another and we just relaxed for a couple minutes. It was so comfortable in his arms. I could have easily fallen asleep there. It was tempting to the both of us, just to rest like that... We were both wiped out and had been working hard to clean up other boys' messes so Izac didn't get charged for it.  His touch warmed my skin and I was attracted to him in every way imaginable on planet earth. It was late and time to go but I knew there was still more to do in the morning... The little devil in my head wanted me to stay where I was and relax my muscles next to Izac's warm body. That devil wanted me to fall into a cozy sleep and let the morning sun wake us up... But my good spirit told me that I knew better than to do something of the such... I needed to leave...

Spicy-Sweet-Hot-Burning-Sticky-Goodness

A continuation of 'Activities with our Families'

A new week was upon us, filled with new adventures. I was up for any adventure as long as it was with my love. We hadn't verbally told each other that we loved each other, but I knew I was head-over-heels in love with him. I was attracted to every part of this man; his dark brown eyes that complemented his dark brown hair, his white smile that would sneak out to say hi to me, and his spontaneous personality and adventurous side. What I loved best about him was that he brought out the fun side of me. I did fun and spontaneous things with Izac that I had never dreamed of doing before. None of it was bad, it was just a side of me that not many people knew. He made me want to be a better person, he lifted me up to new heights. When I was with Izac I didn't compare my features to the features of others girls (well not as much as I did before I met him... I am a work-in-progress). I was happy and satisfied being me. And he liked me. In my mind Izac was better than the prince charming that I had dreamed about. He was more that I could ever hope for in a man. To be down right honest, I wanted to spend eternity with Izac. The way things were going I was very hopeful of that prospect. I wanted to spend the rest of my life being spontaneous with this man to whom I was so deeply attracted.  

I was going to make dinner for my man and I was very excited about it. It was a recipe that my mom would periodically make for us growing up and we loved it. It was spicy-sweet-hot-burning-sticky-goodness also know as Winger's Chicken sauce (If you have ever had Winger's sticky fingers before you know what sauce I'm talking about). My mom had gotten a sauce recipe that was really similar to that sauce. It was easy to make and I was going to impress Izac that I knew how to make restaurant style food. I planned to make a healthy alternative to the fried-crispy chicken and did grilled chicken on sandwiches, adding the sauce on top of the chicken. It was simple but different and delicious. 

Many thoughts coursed through my brain as I mixed the ingredients in my sauce pan. I briefly thought about my homework load (very briefly), then my thoughts went to my lost cousin and his daughter. Wanting this night to be happy I let my thoughts wander to Izac. His hands. His height. I loved his height, he was noticeably taller than me but not too tall. I had to tip my head back to kiss him and it wasn't a strain to reach for either of us. I thought about the complements he gave me and the sweet texts that would welcome wonderful dreams at night before bed. The more my thoughts ran wild about him the more I wanted to keep him mine for a good long time. I felt a brief prickle burn on my hand and I was immediately brought back to reality of the sauce that I was cooking. Luckily I hadn't burned it yet. The smell of the tangy, hot, sweet sauce filled my nostrils making my tummy grumble. I hoped that Izac would arrive soon because the food was just about prepared. Just as that thought was replaced by another, Izac walked in. 

I was so happy to see him. He pulled me into his arms whispering in my ear that it was nice to come 'home' to a beautiful woman. I sheepishly grinned and laid my head on his shoulder. It was nice to have him come 'home' to greet me with a warm hug. It filled my body with complete contentment and warmth. He leaned back and gave me a brief kiss. He made me feel wanted and I hoped that he felt the same coming from me. 

We ate our sandwiches and talked of our daily triumphs and struggles. We updated each other on what we had going on and just enjoyed the presence of each other. The sauce on the sandwiches was a hit. He loved it, and complimented me profusely on it. He wanted his own bottle of it so it could become his new ketchup. I was proud of myself and my accomplishment in the kitchen (yay me!). 

There was some sauce left in the bottom of the pan. Izac gave me a mischievous smile and I knew that he had some kind of plan working out in his mind. He dipped his finger in the sauce.... I was wondering what he was going to do with it. I was a wee bit confused. Was he going to hand lick the pan clean? Was it really that good? 

His eyes smiled big at me as he brought his finger and spread the spicy-sweet-hot-burning-sticky-goodness all over my lips. I decided to play along, still not quite sure what his plan was behind this one, and dipped my own finger in the sauce and spread a rather reasonable amount of it on his lips. My lips were starting to feel the burning prickle that only that sort of spicy food can bring. Izac first looked at me and then my lips. His head tilted in towards mine and soon I felt a pair of sticky lips touch mine. Talk about a hot kiss (pun intended :) ). The sauce burned my skin. The kiss had spread the sauce to the skin around my lips and it was burning also but I was enjoying every minute of the burn. This was our unplanned, offhand event and we had fun. The burn heightened the senses in my lips and gave my man's lips a gloss that made them that much more irresistible. We kept control of the situation knowing that a moments pleasure could ruin forever, but, man... that sticky goodness was fun.  

We cleaned up and enjoyed the rest of the evening doing homework next to each other. From time to time we would remind each other of the fun that we had earlier in the evening. We contemplated if other couples had as much fun as us. We had a mutual agreement that those types of things were small 'traditions' that we wanted to keep up and alive in our relationship.



I apologize for my last few writings. I was having a writing block and just forgot how to write good. My dear husband (I read him all of 'our love story' blogs before I publish them) read me a journal entry of his from when we were dating and his details were phenomenal and hilarious. He reminded me of how much better I could be on my details. We are hoping that when he gets more time he can contribute to this blog and tell his side of our story! It has been really fun for us to reminisce these times again together, it has reminded us of how cute we were and that we need to keep continuing those 'small' traditions'.I hope you are reminded of your 'small' traditions... They help keep the spice and heat alive :)  Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

'Activities With Our Families' '

A continuation of 'Busted'

We had decided that it would be good to fill some of our time getting to know each other's families better. The first activity we did was to float the river with Izac's family. With Ryker and Emma's death still frequently filtering through my thoughts, I was a little bit nervous to get in the river. I missed them, and ached for them to be back on earth. They had died too young. It hurt me in every way that they had drown...


Izac knew of my concern over the water and was a real gentleman helping me to get going. The water was flowing pretty swift where we entered, making all of my muscles tense. Everyone was wearing wet suits and life jackets which helped calm my nerves somewhat... 

It was a difficult task to get on our tubes before they floated away because the water was flowing so fast. Izac's mom was one of the first ones to attempt getting in and she slipped... The tube was floating swiftly away as was Izac's mom. All three boys (Izac, his dad, and brother) started sprinting towards his floating away mother and tube. My body was having some kind of panic attack and my feet were stuck to the dirt. I couldn't move and just stood there watching the scene play out before my eyes... 

Somehow she had navigated her body towards the shore and was able to grab a branch until one of the boys retrieved her tube for her. She was unscathed but I was sure concerned. 

The rest of us took extra precaution when loading and were able to shore off just fine. The fast pace dragged us from our starting point and the water got real shallow. Shallow enough that our bums were bumping across the submerged rocks. It took real talent to lift yourself off the tube, while staying on it, in order to save your rear end from the hard river rocks. 

His family loved to tease and joke, it was a real riot getting to know them. They all seemed like down-to-earth people who loved life and enjoyed the outdoors. I shared some of my interestes with them and they shared theirs with me. 

After a short time floating on tire tubes, the swiftness of the water slowed down. Izac started to bump and pull at my tube teasing me, threatening to tip me. I pushed back at him and tried to splash him. 

That did it...

Before I knew it I was under the water with my tube nowhere to be found. I panicked under the water, Ryker and Emma's faces flashing before my mind, but I popped up pretty fast. Breathing hard and somewhat scared, I immediately was after revenge. I started splashing him and trying to get him off of his tube. He was real strong and stuck like glue to that tube. I finally decided to just sit on him. I would drip my hair all over him and get him wet that way. 

It worked. But I think he liked it because he didn't shove me off :) I got him wet and was going to head back to my tube but he held me tight, making movement impossible. I guess he liked my revenge or something... I moved to sit by the side of him on his tube and we floated down the rest of the river that way. I was happy. I was getting to know his family and I enjoyed them. I loved every minute that I spent with Izac. 


Another time we decided to get together with my family. My dad and Izac got into a real deep conversation about Izac's AR and guns. I was somewhat lost, but happy to sit next to him while he and my dad talked the boy talk of guns. 

My dad has always been one of my heroes. He taught me how to work hard and honest. He showed through example how to serve others in need. He fed my love for the outdoors by frequently being outside. He was and is a great example in always being a worthy priesthood holder for the family. I loved (and still do) my dad and his opinion mattered to me. 

I had learned the hard way, before Izac came along, how important it was to listen to my dad's input... That story goes as follows: My dad had told me that he was concerned about the boy that I was dating. He really didn't like him and had a bad feeling about him. I ignored what my dad said... Then a short few weeks later I found this boy I was dating laying with another girl on his chest. I had learned the hard way that I better listen to my dad's input. He could see more from the outside of that situation than I could from the inside. He knew better, but unfortunately I had to learn the hard way that time. From this event, and him being one of my heroes, I was going to trust what he said about Izac... 

Things between them had seemed to be going good so far, I mean they were talking about guns together... They were getting to know each other more and that is what Izac and I wanted. I was really hopeful that my dad would like Izac because I liked him... A lot... 

After talking guns for a time, we went outside and did some fun tricks on the trampoline. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the world smelt green and inviting. Everyone was enjoying themselves and having a good time. Izac was fast becoming my best friend and I was craving to have a future with him.     

Busted

A Continuation of 'Secret Admirer'

I had to sleep on the fact that my man had a 'secret admirer' out there and I had no clue who she was! It was not a peaceful nights rest. It cluttered my thoughts as I went to my morning classes. I thought of every possible person on the plant earth I could think of. I was annoyed and ready to find out the mystery admirer. 

Izac and I had planned to get together for lunch and we were going to continue our investigation of mystery girl. Izac came to me with a smile in his eyes and I knew by the look on him that he had some information that I was going to like. 

I was making him an easy lunch of grilled cheese sandwiches and I left them to inquire of what he knew. He put off my insistent questions by asking how my morning was, how I had slept ect ect. I knew that he was teasing me, but I was so curious to know! Did he find out who it was?! 

Finally, after like five straight minutes of his questioning I made some headway. At this time he proceeded to tell me that he had left his phone at my apartment the other day on accident and had come to pick it up a few hours later. I had been at work when he went to pick it up. He said that he didn't know who it was but that narrowed our search down to five girls. By this time the aroma of burning bread filled our nostrils and I knew that I had burnt the grilled cheese...

As I placed our blackened sandwiches on the table, my mind began furiously processing this new piece of information. One of my roommates had seen his phone there and programmed their number in it to read 'secret admirer'... I had five roommates.... I had phone numbers for two of them.... They had said that they were 'taken'... And the two who were taken I didn't have their phone numbers... That narrowed our search down to two of my roommates. I was disappointed that one of my roommates was doing that. She wasn't being faithful to her boyfriend and it was discouraging.

We proceeded to eat our charcoal sandwiches and Izac suggested that I text one of my other roommates to get the phone numbers of the two that had boyfriends. I proceeded to do so and within a few minutes we knew who it was... We also knew that she was dating John, they were over at the apartment together quite a bit. We decided to text her to see if she would voluntarily give any more information that day. The conversation went something as follows:

Izac and I: Hey Secret Girl, how are you?
'Secret Admirer': Hey cute guy! I am great how are you?
Izac and I: I'd be better if you told me who this is... :)
'Secret Admirer': Well, I can't do that, but I sure like talking to you :)

She was not about to reveal who she was or call it quits so Izac and I thought of a way to lay down the hammer to let her know that she was busted. We asked.... 'How does John feel about that?'

Up to this point in the conversation she had been texting us back rather fast. We knew that she was right with her phone. 

We didn't get a reply and I had to be to work...

The question that revealed that we knew who she was a figurative 'slap in the face' to her because John had no idea that she had been texting Izac. She didn't reply for to Izac for hours. We stumped her. She was corned and knew that she could be in real big trouble. I am sure she tried to think of every come back in the book but nothing worked, she was sneaking around behind John's back and she knew it. 

When Izac and I met up that night to do homework he showed me what she had finally sent back and it just said 'great!'. No real come back for her. Immediate satisfaction for me, it was like a giant load was removed from my back knowing who it was that that she had been cornered. Izac and I were able to continue our evening in peace. It was nice to have that burden lifted that she was no real threat to me. And even nicer when I got a kiss goodnight from him. :)  

After that day, she got real moody around us and avoided us at all costs. When she was around me she would give me cold icey glares. It made me feel real good that Izac tried to show extra affection towards me when we were around her. I kind of enjoyed that... :) Our new quest was to prove to her that we were completely faithful to each other.When we were around her Izac would lay a big kiss on my cheek, hold my hand or put his arm around me making sure that she knew I was his. Many times this ended with her nosily storming off to her room. It was our own secret game to make it clear to her how strong our  relationship was.    

My jealousy was something that I needed to work on but I made progress this day. I wanted to tell John and the others what she had done but that would have created drama and not gotten me anywhere. So Izac and I never said another thing about it to her. 

She never really talked to me much the rest of the semester but I still had Izac as mine! :) 

'Secret Admirer'

A continuation of 'Virgin Lips'

The next afternoon Izac came over to my apartment. He came to me with teasing questioning eyes and his cell phone in his hand. Holding up his phone for me to see, he asked me: 'Is this you?'. I wasn't sure what he was suggesting or talking about so I didn't answer until I had a chance to see his cell phone.  On the screen were texts from a number named 'Secret Admirer'..

My heart started to race and thump, threatening to jump right out of my rib cage. I felt nervous, envious, jealous and threatened all at the same time. I hadn't had anything to do with it. I started panicking that someone was trying to get Izac away from me, and that they would be smarter, cuter, funner, and more what he wanted. When I replied to Izac that the texts weren't from me his face filled with confusion. I could almost read the question that was in his expression; 'then who is it?'.  My expression mirrored his. Who was this 'Secret Admirer'?

Initially Izac thought that I was the 'Secret Admirer'. I did admire him, but it wasn't so much a secret and it was not me sending these texts... the conversations went something like this:

'Secret Admirer': Hey you! How are you?
Izac: Hey you! I'm great, how are you?
'Secret Admirer': I am pretty good myself, and you are good lookin'.
Izac: Oh really? :) Why, thank you.

He played along with it for a bit because he sincerely thought it was me. I was sweating because I was nervous; I was jealous in this situation and I wanted to, needed to know who the culprit was it was eating at me.

My mind started scanning every possible scenario. Every possible girl that it could be. I thought of girls that both he and I knew and considered girls that I didn't know. I was determined that we were going to get to the bottom of this. Izac and I played along a little more to see if we could come up with any details.

Izac and I: Maybe if I knew who you were, I could call you good lookin'.
'Secret Admirer': You know me :) we have met before.
Izac and I: Oh we have?
'Secret Admirer': Yes, more than once in fact :)
Izac and I: That sure helps me to narrow it down.. :)
'Secret Admirer': I thought it would :)

Who ever it was they wanted the suspense to last. They wouldn't really budge on any clues or details. I was some what annoyed at this person and frustrated. My thoughts kept returning to the same things: he was mine. We were the cutest couple ever. We were dating and my plan was to keep it that way...

We started discussing who we thought it might be. My first accusation was a girl across the hallway who flirted with everyone. She was a pretty girl and attracted to almost any guy, her flirtatious personality was flaunted at every available moment. Izac proceeded to show me that he already had her saved as a contact in his phone under a different phone number. My next thought was that she may have used one of her roommates phones. It was a possibility...

Another text came in...

'Secret Admirer': I have a secret.
Izac and I: Oh you do huh? What is your secret?
'Secret Admirer': I am taken too.
Izac and I: Is that so?
'Secret Admirer': Yup :)

The clown had a boyfriend. It was likely someone that we both knew because they knew that Izac was taken. Was it Izac's family home evening sisters? Was it someone from his classes? Someone in our ward? I didn't want to think it... but it crossed my mind... Was it one of my roommates?

I was concerned and uneasy about the whole situation. I didn't like it and I was going to find out who it was.



I got the picture at: http://www.newcellphonesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/sprint-lg-rumor-2-cell-phone.png