His face came closer to mine and I could feel his warm whisper on my flushed cheeks . . .
I knew what he wanted, and he was visibly going to go for it but I kept turning my head away, avoiding his lips.
His question was simple and blunt asking if I was avoiding him. I replied with a simple blunt answer of 'yes'. He looked somewhat hurt and I rushed on to explain my reasoning. I told him that I wanted his first kiss to be meaningful and not just because we were close in the pool. He pulled me into a hug and we stayed like that for a brief moment before we closed the pool and got dressed.
Izac had not said much since that moment and uneasiness and distress were plaguing me. I dressed wondering if I had just ruined my chances by denying him in the pool. I probably over thought it but at the time it was a very legit concern to me.
I liked him.
I liked him more than a little bit.
I liked him a lot.
I was falling in love with him . . .
After we got dressed and on our way. I began blubbering like a beluga whale trying to explain myself to him and my reasoning for withholding in the pool. I told him that I really (really, really) wanted this relationship to work. I did my best to make it clear that I didn't want to mess it up by kissing him but I also didn't want to mess things up by not kissing him.
He told me that he understood and the conversation carried to how our relationship need to be a triangle. The triangle had to include God and Izac and I; with God being the central point. In order to have a lasting relationship I knew that that was how it had to be constructed. After sometime of talking he reassured me that it was alright. That he didn't hate me for not kissing him in the swimming pool. Somehow he got it through my thick brain that I had done the right thing.
He continued on, telling me that he really wanted things between us to work also and that we had probably gone as far as was alright being in so little clothing and what not.
Its not that I didn't want to kiss him. I really did. The physical attraction between us blossomed even more every time we were in each other's presence. I just strongly felt that our first kiss (and Izac's first kiss ever) shouldn't be with us practically half naked and wearing just swimming attire. Those emotions can be so powerful and Izac had never experienced kissing, who knows what could have happened ;) .
I wanted to build our relationship on sincerely getting to know each other. I wanted that oh so bad. I wanted it to last; and for our relationship to be solid on the right principles needed to take the us and our relationship farther.
I was really glad that I was able to remain strong in that situation. I had learned; and I felt that my learning was helping to carry our relationship deeper and further in a more consecrated way than any I had had before.
I craved such a relationship; and hoped and prayed that somehow things might work out between us.
I got the picture from https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7CIl4caFBH2yNHrBWnatc2z0zipZoFN3UL73hmzyhcG5m-aYHDJ0tK3zecgJBnGq52rcKlVIACnFdRknzCshJDAAN0h7YKfVT-zMiqd9MXxydfrT-A2zIV4SzMiBSMlDi71GTI-xWWcYq/s1600/2h.png
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