I began crying, blubbering (in perhaps the worst way possible) that I had not always been the best person.
I had made mistakes.
Mistakes that required repentance.
We hadn't even been dating for a full two weeks and I was going to ruin it because I hadn't had self control in the past. I my mind I thought that he wouldn't want me anymore knowing that I hadn't held off. I had kissed other guys... Izac had never kissed a girl.
To put it simply; I felt terrible.
Even to this day where I am sitting and writing this blog I wish that I had controlled myself and not allowed those bad things to happen. I wish with all my heart that I had just been strong in those situations. My advise to the readers is to stay strong in your relationships and keep your standards high. Don't ever let the physical aspect of dating completely control your relationship; a lasting relationship can not last on physical attention alone. I learned that the hard way too many times.
You will never regret keeping your standards high. The relationships that I had, however, did make me a better person. If you have made mistakes like me (or worse, or not as worse); allow those mistakes to make you a better person, like my mistakes did for me. Learn from them and make your future better because of them. Only look back to remember you never want to go back or do those things that cause so much pain again. I had gone through some tough times with guys but because of it I had gained a strong testimony of the Atonement of my Savior Jesus Christ. I have repented of my mistakes and it is that repenting that has made me a better person and prepared me to find Izac. I was a virgin until my date of marriage; and I never have and never will regret saving myself for my husband.
After I let it all out, I was so afraid that I was going to loose him because I had sinned in my past. I felt that I wasn't good enough for a guy who had held back and never kissed a girl before. I was in deep, internal, emotional pain and it was completely consuming me.
He rested his hands on my shoulders and he sincerely looked into my red, puffy, tear streaked face and told me that it was okay. He continued to gaze deeply into my eyes and told me that he liked who I was 'today', that those events helped me to learn and made me who I am 'today'.
He then pulled me close into a warm embrace and told me that he hadn't always been as perfect as I always made him out to be; that he had utilized the Atonement of Jesus Christ also. No one is perfect but building a true testimony of the Atonement can only be done through utilizing and applying it.
Just the fact that he had also repented and understood was so sweet. It was such delicate, sweet, and tender moment between the two of us. Words can hardly describe the feelings in that room between us. The strong attraction that already existed between the both of us grew even bigger that night as we added spiritual attraction to our blossoming relationship.
(I was in love with him after only two weeks of knowing him...)
I hope that our story inspires you and that you will in turn inspire others; either with my story or with your own. :)
I got the pictures from: http://www.internetmonk.com/wp-content/uploads/watching-sunrise.jpg and http://www.goodtapes.com/images/cd%20page%20images/cd%20page%20-%20forgiveness%20through%20christ.jpg
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