The Stars

A Continuation of 'Riding Bikes'

That Friday night our stake put on a 50 lap ward relay. The theme was 70's. Izac choose an orange and brown vest with an orange hat; and I decided on a bright flowery dress thing. We talked and socialized with our friends making a good time out of it. We each ran two laps and cheered each other on while running. 

 Us and one of Izac's roommates at the race.

Izac running with a fake gun.

After running and participating in some fun, we went back to my apartment. It was getting dark and the stars were coming out. It was going to be a beautiful, clear night; perfect to go star gazing. That is just what Izac and I decided to do. We hopped in the Bronco and drove to find an ideal spot to gaze at one of my favorite of God's creations together.

Our decided destination was a church at the top of the hill that had some good grass that we could lay on. We were there looking at the stars; enjoying the nearness of each other and the conversation we shared. It was a real pleasant time being close to Izac and sharing with him my fascination with the stars. My heart rate was elevated at being by him and I was one happy girl. 

Both of us were innocently relishing the moment; doing nothing to jeopardize our chastity; when a truck pulled up. . .

My nervous system increased my already elevated heart rate, wondering who it was and what they wanted. To be quite frank, I was nervous. The truck drove by real close, and shined their lights on us. I wasn't sure what to do or think. I was kind of freaking out inside. Izac said to just stay there; I think that he felt me tense up with worry. Their lights were shining on us and a couple of girls hollered out asking for our I-cards (our identification that we were students at BYU-Idaho). Izac told me to ignore them. I did as he asked but I couldn't stop myself from worrying. After a minute or two of us ignoring them they finally left. I think Izac felt me relax next to him because he grabbed my hand. 

Not five minutes later, another truck pulled in to the church parking lot. I couldn't stop myself from tensing up again. I knew that we weren't doing anything unacceptable, but I was beginning to wonder whether coming to the church was a good idea or not. This truck was a big truck; it had more that one aftermarket part on it. Before they even came close, we could hear the loud, vulgar music blaring from the truck. 

I knew this time that I just had to ignore them like I had the last truck. We guessed that it was another truck full of loud mouth teenagers. Izac and I both stayed where we were not saying anything, waiting to see what they were going to do. They pulled up to the curb and one of the immature high school boys in the truck rolled down the window and hollered out "have sex, it feels soooo good." I heard that and I was appalled! I am pretty sure my jaw dropped. . .

Izac and I hadn't even shared our first kiss. The deep inner motherly side of me wanted to find these boys' mothers' and tell them what their boys were up to. We were in Rexburg for heaven sakes!   

Our annoyance at these kids was displayed in both of our temperaments. We were just trying to look at the stars together and every childish teenager in Rexburg was trying to ruin it. In all honesty they were doing a pretty good job. I was thinking more about the incidents than I was the stars. Izac mentioned to me that they were both driving 'daddy's' truck. Finally, after we kept ignoring them, they drove off. 

We didn't get much star gazing in before it was time to go. Both of us talked about how disappointed we were in the people that visited us. We talked about each individually wanting to someday raise kids with a lot better values and respect than that. 

We had just got in the Bronco and were starting to leave the parking lot, when the same big truck drove directly in front of our line of sight and a kid stuck his bare naked butt out the window at us. Where is the decency?  


Feel free to comment or critique :)

Riding Bikes

A continuation of 'Ryker and Emma'

We had returned from Emmett and it was time to return to the real life of college courses and homework.  Loads of homework. Thoughts of Ryker and Emma frequently returned causing me to miss them. I hadn't seen Izac all weekend due to the funerals, so he asked me to go to lunch with him. We went to Nielson's Frozen Custard and then took our food across the street to the park.

Porter Park-Rexburg, Idaho

It was gorgeous outside! No wind, (which does not happen very often in East Idaho), the sun was shining and it was the perfect day for a picnic in the park with one extremely cute boy! Before we knew it one hour had passed, then two, then three hours had passed and I was pushing it to make it to class on time. We talked and enjoyed each other's company. He seemed to have interest in me and I definitely was diggin him! I was dating a phenomenal guy and I didn't want things to ever turn sour. In so many ways it seemed too good to be true.

We decided to keep attending country dancing; so we went again on Wednesday to learn more dances, steps and moves.

Thursday was a new day and brought new adventures. Izac liked to ride bikes. I liked to ride bikes. He had a 'Specialized Bike'. I had a 'Specialized Bike'. One difference, however, was that mine was a road bike and his was a mountain bike.

At the time, I liked to think of myself as a pretty fit person. I frequently went on runs or bike rides and worked out. Izac had told me that he liked to workout and ride bikes but he hadn't been able to find time for it. Thursday we decided to go on a bike ride together. We were going to do a 14 mile loop that I knew of that went up some pretty good hills but also had some pretty good views.

In my head I thought more than once; 'I hope that he can keep up...' I may have been a little prideful about my being 'fit'. I had been running and biking hills a lot and he hadn't really worked out at all. I had this one in the bag. It was my time to really impress this guy with my speed road bike skills; and plus I had a road bike and he had a mountain bike... (If you don't know much about bikes, road bikes are way fast on pavement. A lot faster than mountain bikes are. They can fly, I got mine going 30 miles per hour once.)

I rode to his apartment and we started up the first hill. Temple hill. It is the steepest, longest part of the hills. We both were feeling the desire to exercise and enjoy the nice day so we started off pretty hard. My legs started burning as we pushed our physical strength up the ever long hill. I was in the lead but not for long. Before I knew it, Izac had passed me; and he had passed me going a pretty decent pace. I tried harder to push those pedals around with my legs but anything I tried I just couldn't catch him up that hill. My legs simply could not do it.

Izac knew that I worked out frequently and it was obvious that I was riding a road bike. So when he beat me to the top of the hill my self-esteem was diminishing. 'How?'  I was asking in my head. 'He can't do that...' I did that stuff way more than him... 'I should be beating him up the hill.' (I may have a little bit of competitive nature...) 

Well so much for impressing him with my speed road bike skills. That clearly wasn't happening. In my journal this is what I wrote "He actually kept up really well (my turn to be impressed) and was ahead of me for part of the way."

As we kept pedaling, we went up a few more hills; these ones weren't quite as steep and we stayed pretty close together. Finally, the road leveled out and I was able to pull ahead of him. Yay me!! My self-esteem was picking back up and was boosted even more when I really beat him going down hill. I got going so fast on the down hill that I almost scared myself. I sure do love to feel my heart beat with physical exercise and the wind blowing my hair back. It is a real satisfying feeling. I was feeling pretty good about being able to beat him on the flat parts and down hill sections but the up hill is what I really had wanted to impress him on. It just wasn't my day for that.  

At this time I also wrote this in my journal "I really like him... He is so sweet." I was falling for him. Fast.

Lately it had seemed that I couldn't get anything right that I wanted to to impress him with. I cried the first night we really met, I couldn't shoot worth a darn, I tried cuddling in too close way to early, and I couldn't beat him up the steep hill on a road bike. Was I trying too hard? Did I just look foolish to him? 



I still like to be critiqued in any way :) help me out! And if you like my writing tell your family about it! The more to critique the better :) myblondespot.blogspot.com

I got the picture at http://abc.eznettools.net/rexburg/thingstodo/parkstrails/parkscity/PPAutumn01.jpg

Ryker and Emma

A continuation of 'Just Fishin'

My mind still visited the man that I was dating amid the mournfulness I was experiencing. I was still very hopeful of where things could go between he and I. 

We went to my Aunt's that morning Friday morning. Everyone was in formal dress preparing for the double funeral that was to take place that morning. I was doing just fine until I seen the poem that I had given my Aunt being passed around for others to read. I was fine with everyone reading it. I was proud of it; but it made me well up with tears again. I got a lot of compliments on the poem. Both my dad and grandpa teared up a bit over it. It was a time of contemplation for all that knew these two great people. 

Little Emma had just celebrated her two year old birthday a few days before her passing. 

It still seemed so unreal to me; things like this didn't happen to me. They happened to other people. This time was my families turn to go through something real tough; and it was just that. I couldn't help thinking that maybe I was in a bad dream or something and somehow they would come back. 

It has been mentioned before that Ryker loved his little girl. He did. Look at the next pictures and what he had prepared for her; training wheels and everything :) They really were going to do everything together. :)

Emma's bike

Ryker and Emma's bike

 The funeral was real nice and some great memories from families and friends were shared. One of my Uncles gave a prayer at the grave sight and everyone stood there in tears and leftover memories. I cried a lot. 

The whole ordeal got me really thinking about things. Particularly about the 'after life'. I have been taught Christian values all my life and with that I have been taught that families can be together forever. These events affirmed in my mind that families can be together forever. If they couldn't be together forever what would be the point in life? That was one of the only thoughts that was comforting me in the loss of Ryker and sweet little Emma.

Some buddies of Ryker's drove a pretty sweet looking hot rod to the funeral in Ryker's memory. It fit well. It was a push start. It was fun to watch the guys dressed up in suits push it down the road to get it going. 

Albertson's donated 250 pieces of chicken for us to eat after the funeral. It is real nice to know and feel the love and support of a community. Believe it or not some people are still very generous. It was a very nice thing for them to do. We were all grateful for it! 

It was a rough day. I cried throughout most of it. They were gone from mortal life and there wasn't a thing I could do about it, I was helpless and it hurt. My knowledge and faith in eternal families held me together.

Just Fishin'

A continuation of 'Kitchen Messes'

The night before Izac and had I enjoyed Country Dancing and corn chowder with glass in it. Thursday my sister and I headed over to Emmett with one of my Aunt's for Ryker and Emma's funeral. 

When we got there Ryker's mom came out and gave me a long hug and we both started crying. Ryker had been close to my age. She told me that there were a lot of pictures of he and I together; even one of us in the bathtub :). It was a real tender moment thinking about our loss together.

 Ryker and I when we were little.

After having some dinner we all congregated outside and started talking about Ryker and Emma. Ryker's mom told us about the night they left. They had been staying at her house, at the time, and she had asked Emma if she wanted to stay home with her but little Emma was so excited to go with Ryker; there would have been no stopping her. 

My cousin loved his daughter. She was his whole world. She went everywhere with him. She loved him. And he loved her. While it is such a misfortune of them dying so young, in my opinion, there was no better way for them to go, than to go together. I can just imagine the two of them playing in heaven together. . . (make sure you wear your life jackets on the water... and that your kids do too...)

There were so many emotions at the house that night. Uncles who you  had never seen cry were crying. Hearts were hurting missing them both. All we had left of them were memories and we each were clinging to them and each other. It was a time of agony and hardship for me. 

On the long drive over to Emmett I wrote a poem for my Aunt. I sneakily put it on her bed while everyone was outside for her to find and read later. I have debated on whether or not I was going to share it because it is special to me but I think I will.

Oh how he loved that little girl,

She was his love, his little pearl.

He lived his life on the edge, 

His family was his love and pledge.

He didn't want to be separated from his mom, 

They were close with that special bond.  

Father and daughter on the river just fishin', 

Accidents happen and now we are missin'.

From this mortal life to a better place they've gone, 

Here on earth we have it tough to remain strong. 

Every time I hear this song I think of Ryker and little Emma. It came out close to the time that they passed away... Just writing and thinking about them brings tears to my eyes. I am sure they are 'Just Fishin' in heaven together!

Kitchen Messes

A continuation of 'Cuddles..."

The next day (on Wednesday) Izac took me to lunch at Subway. I didn't want to bring last night up because I was afraid he would 'dump' me on the spot or that I would talk myself into a mess trying to apologize for the whole incident.

 He talked me into trying his 'signature' sandwich at Subway which was a Spicy Italian on flat bread with veggies and honey mustard. I was pretty skeptical that that sandwich wasn't going to be good on flat bread but it was delicious! We talked throughout lunch until I had to be at class again. Luckily for me, the topic of our couch cuddles the night before didn't come up. 

I was feeling somewhat more relaxed about us because he took me country dancing that night. He told me that he liked it and wanted to learn it better. This country dancing was romantic to me. I was excited to be dancing and learning to dance with such a clean-cut man! The proximity of his nearness made my face flush and heart beat fast. We went to the instruction together, learned some moves and danced a few dances before we decided to go find something to eat. 

My family at home doesn't eat or really care for left over food. I like left overs and will eat them; so my mom would often times send me the left overs to school, as long as I brought her dish back. That particular night I had a big glass bowl container of corn chowder in the fridge. That sounded good to both of us so we were going to go for it. We decided to cook the chowder on the oven. We set the bowl on the unit to warm it up. Before long we heard a loud CRACK, both of us jumped at the sound, rather startled and wondering what had happened.

The glass bowl container had pretty well shattered and left us a rather large mess of shards of glass and chowder to clean up (something about cold glass and hot heat don't mix well...) . We salvaged what we could out of the glass shards and ate it (talk about poor college kids or something... :) ). My mom wasn't getting her dish back this time. . .

We laughed about it, cleaned up our chowder mess, and practiced our newly acquired dancing skills in the kitchen. After dancing for a little bit he had to go, we both still had loads of college homework that was required of us. I think the night before had made him nervous to sit on the couch, but we still had a great time together!

We were becoming notorious for messes in the kitchen; glitter fights, water fights, cracking glass and chowder soup everywhere; what was going to be next?  Izac made me happy, being with him was turning out to be one of my favorite things. At times, me dating him seemed way to good to be true.

Brad had kind of faded out of the picture, it wasn't hard for him to see or know what was happening between Izac and I. I mean, Izac and him shared the same bedroom in their apartment. . .  I felt bad for the way things went down with him and his girl back home breaking up for me; but everything with this Izac was feeling right and I was very attracted to him (very attracted).

I still had to face the fact the my cousin and his young daughter were dead. The vicious water (and lack of life jackets...) at Steck Park had taken their lives never to return again to mortal life.

 Young death is difficult to deal with. You wonder so many things... and why?


To us this is our story of how Izac's roommate liked me and Izac kind of 'stole' me away. We have enjoyed this story, that happened in our dating relationship, and telling it to those interested. :)


I got the pictures at http://www.recyclethis.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/broken_glass250.jpg and http://cornerdancehall.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/People-Dancing-Silhouette-2-psd9850.3122219_std.png

Cuddles. . .

A continuation of 'The Next Day'

The next day, I thought sweetly of last night standing in the rain with him holding me close. I would close my eyes just to be able to picture it better in my mind. I had told him that I didn't want to kiss him for a while. He replied that he was alright with it. He had never kissed anyone anyways so he didn't know what it was like or what to expect. 

That night Izac came over. It started out with us just talking on the couch. There was never a quite moment with us, there was always something for us to talk about. After a short time I cuddled in closer. And got closer. And closer. Until his arm was around me and I was practically laying on his shoulder. We talked and cuddled on the apartment couch for an hour or two before he had to leave.

This part also comes straight from my journal after he left: Now that I think about it. That probably wasn't such a good idea. He was really nervous and kept making comments that we needed to stay busy. I agreed. 

I wasn't used to such a timid guy. I had been on dates with guys that made moves on the first or second dates (they never lasted long) but nonetheless that is what I was accustomed to. I liked that he was being cautious and timid; to me it said a lot about his character. 

When I woke up the next morning thoughts of the previous night filtered in my head. What had I done? This guy had never so much as held a girl close and I was trying to cuddle with him on the fourth day of knowing him. We had just gone on our first date on FRIDAY! I had probably moved way too fast and scared a great guy away. . . 

Our cuddling episode the night before occupied my thoughts again and again. I really thought I had just ruined my shot with him because of moving too fast. I decided that if he would keep coming around that we weren't just going to cuddle. I decided we were going to do things to keep us busy so that the physical aspect of dating didn't control our relationship. The physical touch had taken over in relationships so many times before. I really wanted this to work for us without the physical being such a demanding factor in why we loved each other. It was my secret hope and dream that he (or someone for that) would love me for who I am and not solely for my lips or my body.   

It was important to me. Had I ruined my chances?



If you like my story, tell your friends to read it: myblondespot.blogspot.com  Remind them of their own beginning and love story :) 

P.S. JESSIKA JENSEN FROM RIGBY, IDAHO (I am from Rigby, Idaho) IS GOING TO THE OLYMPICS IN SNOWBOARDING!

I got this picture from: http://cauldronsandcupcakes.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/journal.jpg

The Next Day

A continuation of 'Stadium Singing'

I had just got out of class on Monday when I got a text from Izac saying that he would give me a ride back to my apartment. I gladly accepted the offer :) Once in his Bronco, I scooted on over so I was next to him in middle seat. His charm vibes were reeling me in and I loved every second of it. Once at my residence, we talked for a little bit before he had to leave to get some things done and I had to do some homework before my lab. 

After lab, and a service project with my family home evening group, I holed up in my room to hopefully accomplish some homework. When my thoughts weren't on my homework (which was rather frequently) they were on Izac or my cousin Ryker and his daughter Emma. The three of them were making constant visits in and out of my thoughts. I got a minimal amount of homework done before my newly found love came over. 

He said that he had an idea. He thought it would be real nice to make my Aunt (Ryker's mom) a card. He took me to the local supermarket and we got the stuff to make her a card. I was real touched at his thoughtfulness; it was all his idea and I loved it! 

It was raining, lightening and thundering, and dark outside when when we got back from the store. We both decided it would be fun and adventurous to go stand outside in the rain together and watch the lightening. We put the card making on hold and headed outside together.  

Once outside he pulled me into a hug and we started talking again. He told me that he had never really held or hugged a girl before and that he liked it a lot. He next proceeded to ask me about making it 'official' between us. I was somewhat surprised he asked this because just last night we had talked about not making it official for a while yet (keep in mind we had just met on Friday... and it was Monday). He proceeded to tell me that he wanted to make it 'official' and I replied to him that I would like that a lot! (A WAY LOT!:-) ) 

He continued on and told me how he had never done this (had a relationship) before and said that he was going to need my help. I told him that was just fine :-) . Inside I was freaking out; my nervous system was working full time as my heart rate had increased to at least two times faster than the normal rate. 

He could get to know me for me, not my lips. I was so ecstatic that it was all I could do to not shout a real loud HOORAY right there on the spot. It was such a sweet, tender moment standing there in his arms sharing mutual affection for each other verbally in the rain. 

I was now dating Izac! I had never been so impressed by a guy and I hadn't felt that way about a guy for the long time. We continued to talk a little about what we wanted in life and he told me that he wanted to own a business and live in Idaho (he is from Idaho Falls). He also told me that he wanted to live closer to St. Anthony where it was more secluded. This statement brought a real big smile to my face.

This is a line straight from my journal and was the last line I wrote about that Monday night:   "I swear he gets better and better every day. After we talked for a while he gave me a hug and left. What a great guy! :-D <- HUGE smile."    

I was surprised at myself for being so willing to date a guy and not hardly knowing him. I mean, we had just met on Friday and by Monday we were a 'thing'. My hopes were building up and up, and I was liking this guy who had never kissed a girl more and more. Was a climax going to hit only to come crashing down? 


I have found that I really like writing and I am having a good time writing this blog! I take this stuff from my memories and journal writings. It has been a lot of fun reading and remembering these moments with my husband :) I want to hear (or read) your love story!  

I really like being critiqued on how to do better. With my writing or grammar or punctuation or.... ect...

I got the picture at http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/44/Lightning_Storm_from_Deck_at_Far_View_Lodge_in_Mesa_Verde_National_Park_(4848055961).jpg 

Stadium Singing

A continuation of 'That Next Sunday'

Things under the stadium got a little bit awkward with Brad there but I didn't venture to move away from Izac. Brad had driven straight to Stadium singing from visiting Utah so he could see everyone, particularly me (stadium singing is where a lot of people get together and sing hymns under the stadium bleachers). He noticed right off Izac and I standing real close. No one said too much, however, because we were singing. When it was finished, Brad ended up taking some of my roommates back to our residence in his car. Izac and I decided to walk back to the apartment where his Bronco was parked. 

We were only about a block away from the stadium when somehow his arm ended up around my shoulders and mine ended up around his waist. We walked in that position and talked the rest of the way to my apartment. Even though my apartment was quite a walk from campus I wished it had been longer.

We went inside for a couple of minutes to pick at some of the brownies that we had made earlier. I checked my phone and seen that I had a text from my mom. Her words on the screen brought a new wave of emotion over me. . . 

She said that they might have found Ryker's body. It was all I could to to hold those tears back and put on a strong face for the moment. He didn't make it either; two loved ones lost to drowning. Thoughts of my cousins pressed every nook and cranny of my brain. Luckily for me, Izac had some things to get done and was getting ready to head out. I was hoping I wouldn't have to try to hold back my tears from coming for too much longer. He had seen that my demeanor had changed but didn't say anything about it. 

I went to walk him out to his Bronco that was left parked out front and we started talking. He asked me about Emma, and Ryker, and their families and I cried while telling him some more details of what had happened. He pulled me into a much needed hug and held me while I cried and jabbered away; letting loose everything that was pent up inside of me on him. He comforted me with words and actions, telling me of some difficult things he had been through with his family, all the while holding me near.
He continued hugging me and we kept talking. We talked about family, about the importance of making good decisions, about the gospel, and about life after death. We dabbled in a little bit of every subject while he held me there next to his Bronco.

He told me that I stood out to him. (Yes!!) Happiest girl on the plant was right there in his arms! Somewhere in the conversation it was mentioned that we weren't 'official' yet (it was way to early for that, we had just met on Friday...) but both of us wanted to work towards being 'official'. The intense affection was mutual. :) 

Soon we had been outside for quite a while and both of us turned when we heard the building door open. It was Brad... He took one look at us hugging by Izac's Bronco and went straight to his car without looking back once. In a way I felt bad. . . but not really... 

I was falling fast and hard and I had only known Izac since Friday. Was this for reals or was I in for another heart break?

PLEASE critique if you so desire :) 

That Next Sunday...

A continuation of 'The First Date With...'

Parked in the church parking lot that Sunday was the Bronco that I was beginning to really enjoy being in. Izac and his apartment were in my ward and they had got there early. On the way in, I hurried and stuck a note in the windshield wipers that said "I really like your ride, heart me". I hoped that he would get it and have a good idea who it came from. :)

That Sunday was also my roommate's birthday. Later after church I made her some brownies to celebrate and invited a few people over. Izac and his roommates came to celebrate with us, Brad was still out of town and due to get back a little later that evening. 

While the aroma of brownies filled the air, Izac located some of my roommates mini squirt guns and we had a spontaneous water fight right there in the apartment kitchen. I was really enjoying all of these unplanned brawls in my apartment. 

The buzzer announcing that the brownies were finished interrupted the fun we were having getting water everywhere. Together we cut the brownies up and made a plate for my roommate. Izac adorned the top of our brownie platter with a ball of brownie that he had rolled himself; his own personal touch. 

We didn't have any candles so we improvised and used matches instead. 

  

After our little celebration, one of Izac's roommates needed a ride back to their apartment, so Izac and I took him back. Izac let me drive his Bronco. It was a stick shift. At that particular moment in time, I was really grateful that my first car had been a stick shift. I didn't stall it once ('yay me!')! As I was driving, I noticed that the note I had put in his windshield wipers was on the dash. Izac saw me look at it and asked if I was 'me'. I could only smile and allowed that to be his answer. 

As roommates we had been going stadium singing (its where you go sing hymns underneath the stadium bleachers, it sounds really cool) and this week was no different. Much to my happiness and excitement Izac decided to go with us.  He and I were standing real close and sharing a hymn book when Brad got there... 

Izac wet from the squirt gun fight and putting 'candles' in the brownies. 

More of the birthday festivities.

:-)

The First Date With...

A continuation of 'The Beginning of Us, Later That Night'

That Friday Brad left town to go to a baby blessing for one of his relatives in Utah. I was relieved he was going because that meant everything dealing with him could be put on the back burner for a time. I knew that Brad wasn't my type. I felt bad that I had given him an impression that I liked him.

Ryker's body was still missing.  I was still clinging to hope that he was out there somewhere, still alive. Thoughts of my missing cousin still frequented my mind.

Friday afternoon, I was sitting at the library trying my hardest to stay away and concentrate on the anatomy and physiology that I was supposed to be studying when my phone started to ring. My heart rate quickened when I saw who it was...

Izac. 

I answered in the coolest nonchalant voice I that I could manage. He wanted to know if I wanted to go shooting with him. Inside I was freaking out: "YES! YES, I'll go shooting with you... YES! I'll follow you anywhere... YES!" but luckily for both of us, I just told him that that would be fun and that I was looking forward to it later that night.

The nerves floated around inside me as I spent way to long getting ready. I wanted to look country-ish since we were going shooting, so I decided on a fitted pink button up top and blue jeans with my hair down. Lately, I hadn't really got excited or nervous for dates but this one was an exception. 

All neurons in my body were having a big celebration when he came to get me, so much so that I couldn't contain my smiles. My excitement was added to when I found out that two other couples were going with us; and I would have to sit in the middle by him (again :) ) so that there would be room for everyone else. Heaven forbid... (I couldn't think of a better spot ;-) ) We made our way to notorious 'R' mountain to shoot Izac's guns. 

I like a guy with guns. My dad had (and still has) guns. All my uncles had (and still have) guns. Every guy should have a gun. My tall, dark and handsome man whom I was getting to know, had a small collection of guns that left me even more impressed with him. He had a 22 rifle, a pistol, a shot gun and my favorite was his A.R.. That gun just looked bad. Military bad.

I got to shoot all of his guns. Even growing up with guns in our house I still wasn't super familiar with them, so Izac stood close, (causing me to breath faster...) and helped me out.  The boys forgot earplugs so Izac would cover my ears when I shot the loud guns, standing arms length away directly behind me. I had never shot an A.R. before and I thought that was the coolest thing ever. I was pretty proud to be able to say I had shot one.  

If I was trying to impress him by being an excellent shot that definitely wasn't happening. I missed everthing! I was a terrible shot. I hoped that our relationship didn't weigh on my accuracy because if so, I was in trouble and a lost cause.   

After a time it started getting dark so we headed to another spot on 'R' mountain to build a fire and make some tin foil dinners. When we got there Izac put a cowboy hat on that he had in the Bronco. I think my heart stopped for a few seconds when I saw him with it on. Dang, he looked good!

The boys were having some troubles keeping the fire going good enough to cook our dinners; so Izac got a brilliant idea to just put the lighter fluid directly on the foil and then let them cook that way. When the flame would dwindle out he would just squirt more of the juice from the lighter fluid can directly on the thin layer of tin foil that was covering our food. I made a comment that we were going to have toxic food but Izac just replied that it would burn out. I just smiled and hoped he was right, thinking to myself that he was definitely a guy. :) 

Surprisingly, we all lived through it and didn't have any toxic side effects from the lighter fluid that cooked our food. It was a great time sitting around the camp fire and sharing stories.To say that Izac and I flirted is a true statement. The direct words from my journal are "Izac and I flirted it up."

After we had finished our meal and it was getting late, so they took us all home. I got a hug on the door step and went in to dream of shooting guns with good looking man right next to me. 

Brad was coming back Sunday, but that was the farthest thing from my thoughts.  

FEEL FREE TO GIVE SUGGESTIONS or IDEAS or COMMENTS ON MY WRITING ANYTIME!

The Very Beginning, Later that Night

A continuation of 'The Very Beginning of Us' 

At the time, I was trying hard not to think about boys because they had just caused pain. What was I doing?

I don't want to spend prolonged time on my past because this is our story. But my past had shaped me and made me realize that this returned missionary, who had never kissed a girl, had the potential to be very different from other boys. 

When I said that boys had caused me pain I meant it. There was the boy who convinced me to move to another state for him (it ended up only lasting a week, big issues there). There was one that I completely broke his heart (nice guy, but my love did not feel eternal for him). And there was the boy who I found lying with a girl on his chest when he and I were supposedly dating (my dad seriously wanted to kill him for a time). To make several long stories, short; it seemed that most of the guys I had dated had only one thing at the top of their list and on their minds: physical attention.    

But my glitter fight stranger...

He had never kissed a girl...

He could get to know me, for me, and not for my lips. Needless to say that simple fact about him really impressed me. 

Thinking about this tall, dark and handsome gave me a needed break from my mournful state. Thoughts of him and the possible potential coursed through my brain. I knew it was way to early to be thinking about anything serious but I couldn't keep those thoughts from coming. 

The same night as the glitter-glue-fight I was at my apartment doing my homework when the door bell rang. It was Brad, Izac and two more of their roommates. At that time it finally dawned on me that the stranger that had looked at me at church, when I was on my way out, was Izac. These boys had in hand a big poster board card and the most beautiful bouquet of flowers, with bright blues, yellows, and purple in it. 

They were for me... 

My rain cloud of tears spilled over once again. This kind act touched my heart to know that they cared for me and what was happening in my life. All that were present had information that something tragic had happened but they didn't know what. 

Through my tears, I proceeded to tell them what had happened with little Emma's passing and how Ryker was still missing. It felt good to get it out but it was embarrassing for me to cry in front of these guys. Especially my handsome stranger.   

In my emotional state, I asked for, and was given a priesthood blessing by one of the roommates and we all shared hugs. 

 Brad held onto me a little longer than I desired; but I particularly enjoyed my hug from my sparkly-glue-guy. 

I was really affected by what was happening. Everyone of my roommates and that whole apartment of boys had written a nice note for me on the inside. These friends were a God send for me at the time.

Finally, I found out and knew why everyone was coloring in my apartment earlier. They were coloring a card for me. They had hurried to lock the door to put it away when they heard me coming.

I had just met him that day and tall, dark and handsome was already making his way into my thoughts, he and Brad had initiated and acted on the idea to give me a card and flowers. 

Tuesday night Brad came over. 
Wednesday night Brad came over.
Thursday night Brad invited me over to his apartment (Izac wasn't there).
Thursday night after getting home from their apartment I got a text from Brad.
He told me that he and his girl back home had broke up and that he liked me.... 
  

The Very Beginning of Us

A continuation of 'The Pre-Beginning of Us Continued Again :)'

Early on Sunday morning my uncle and my dad left to go to the other side of the state to be support for our family in need. They were going to bring helicopters and search dogs in to help locate my missing cousin.

I was living in Abby Lane apartments in Rexburg at the time and it being Sunday I decided to go to my ward there. It was a testimony meeting. I actually really wanted to get up but there were way too many people and each was taking what seemed like forever. One guy took 10 minutes telling about a girl he dated that he called Satan... It was not testimony material, and in all honesty I was pretty annoyed.

Towards the end of the meeting, a guy bore his testimony and included something about losing his father. With young death recently on my mind, I lost it and started bawling. I decided it would be best for me to just leave at that point. I was a blubbering fool and didn't want to draw attention to myself. On the way out a stranger caught my eye, looking as if he wanted to know what was wrong and why I was crying. I didn't think much of it and went to the school gardens to be alone and cry (which was something that I was getting really good at...).

Monday brought a new week of classes and homework. That kind of stuff doesn't really stop for a death in the family. Unfortunately... 

The sky had been sporadically crying on and off throughout the day. I decided that it wanted to cry with me (as I intermittently had done during the day) for my cousin and his young daughter.

Luckily, it was real nice for my 15 minute walk back to my apartment. My thoughts were still lingering with my cousin and his deceased daughter but at least I wasn't crying.  

Once I got to my apartment, the door was locked. This was the first unusual thing because usually during the day the door was unlocked. The second unusual thing was that I heard a lot  of voices inside. Normally if the door was locked, that meant no one was there. I was getting real curious as to what was going on as I retrieved my key to unlock the door. Finally, I got the door unlocked and walked in. A couple of my roommates were in there with Brad and his roommate Izac. Brad had been hanging around our apartment a lot lately and I knew that he was taking a liking to me from the way he treated me and acted around me. Everyone was sitting at the table. They were coloring... There was all sorts of coloring items spread about the table. 

I was somewhat confused, but decided to go with it. Izac, Brad's roommate, proceeded to tell me that the nice coloring set they were using was his tool kit that he kept in his Bronco. I played along with it teasing him for having such a nice tool kit. 

Before long he randomly put some sparkly-glue-stuff on my cheeks. I then put some on his face and he willingly  let me. I had fun decorating his face with the sparkles. It added to the spontaneous-ness of it all that he was tall, dark and handsome. I put my face close to his to make sure I was doing a good job, this caused my heart to beat a little faster ;) . At this time I found out that the tall, dark, and handsome stranger had never kissed a girl! This added big brownie points for him in my book!

Out of no where this stranger tackled me to the floor, pinned my arms down, and put the sparkles all over my face; including my eyelashes, cheeks and forehead. I put up a little bit of a fight but not much because this fun and laughter was a great release from the sadness that I had been feeling.  

Brad was feeling left out of the fun so I put some glue sparkles on his face but it wasn't quite the fun and exciting experience as with my handsome stranger called Izac.    

Somehow it ended up that handsome-never-kissed-a-girl-man was going to take me to my night class and then give me a ride home. I hurried and scrubbed the sticky sparkles off my face and headed out with him. 

While we were in the warm apartment and having a lively glitter fight it had rained outside. Handsome stranger's source of ride was a Ford Bronco and he had 'accidentally' left the passenger window open. The rain had soaked the passenger side of the seat through. Lucky for me, the Bronco had a bench seat. ;)

I teased him about 'purposely' leaving the window open so that I would have no other choice but to sit by him. Aside from my teasing, I was completely thrilled and having a joyous time with this stranger.

At the time, I was trying hard not to think about boys because they had just caused pain. What was I doing?

I have some pictures of this event :) Enjoy!!

 Me sparkling Handsome-Never-Kissed-a-Girl Man's face.

Me being tackled and sparkled on.

 More sparkles...

And More...

Me putting sparkles on Brad. 

The three of us.

Again. :)

 I have kept pretty good journals most of my life and I have pretty good record of the events of Us. It has been real fun for me to read about these experiences again and my thoughts at the time. I would encourage you to keep a journal. It is real fun to go back and read about old experiences (especially with the ones you love) and see how you have changed :) 

And... I added some pictures from my mom's race on my blog The Pre-Beginning of Us Continued again. You should check them out :) 

The Pre-Beginning of Us Continued Again ;)

A continuation of 'The Pre-Beginning of  Us Continued' 

The gun shot rang and race started. The loud shot seemed to be permission for my tears to start flowing again.

I cried for Emma. 

I cried for Ryker. 

I cried for everyone close to them. 

I cried for my mom.

I cried for all that had ever lost a loved one. 

And I cried because I could. 

This was supposed to be a thrilling, happy, and exciting race not a mournful one. If my life depended on it, I don't think I could have stopped those tears from flowing. 

With everyone having the same color of swim cap on, at first it was difficult to find my mom. After a short time however, it wasn't hard to pick her out. 

She was at the very back of the all racers. 

The very back.

The odd thing was, that someone was with her... Like right next to her... In my mind I thought that it had to be one of her friends, that was competing with her, helping her along. No stranger would purposely swim that close to someone else. From a distance though I couldn't tell who it was. 

I cried again (or still...). These tears were tears of thankful cries that someone was going to help my mom conquer her fear. 

In my mind I wondered when this friend would leave my mom. I figured that the friend was just helping her get started. Then the friend would continue to swim to try and get a decent time. 

Before long it seemed these two swimmers were deserted by all other racers. They seemed to be the only swimmers in the lake, miles behind the race and going at a snail's pace. One who hadn't deserted them, however, was the rescue boat. They were sticking real close to these two swimmers. 

After what seemed like an eternity of time, they came ashore and had finished the swim! 

Dead last. 

But what an accomplishment for my mom! If that friend hadn't pushed and helped my mom along I think the rescue boat would have had to get her after 100 yards.

The friend stayed right next to my mom the WHOLE time! Talk about a good friend. I cried, grateful for the God send of a great friend to my mom. 

Amid my sadness for the loss of life, was great happiness for success of an accomplishment. She had done it!

When we arrived home later that day we found a news report that said they had tried CPR for an hour to revive little Emma but to no avail. We also found out that when the men (Ryker and two buddies) went to anchor the boat, the line caught. It pulled the front of the boat down and started sinking the boat, leaving the occupants to flee. 

Ryker's body was still missing...

I was clinging onto all hope that he was alright...



** here was the news report we watched**
http://www.ktvb.com/home/One-girl-dead-deputies-searching-for-man-after-boating-accident-123165783.html 

 Everyone waiting for the race to start.

 My mom (on her back) and her friend.

 Them together again.

Them and a rescue boat near by.

Finally finishing the swim, my mom's friend and my mom.

Them coming out of the water. :)

Please always feel free to critique. I am writing our story for practice.

I enjoy making the suspense last ;) but The Beginning is coming :)